


No Reflection

by BrokenBones (Hikarinimichitasora)



Series: A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Breathplay, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, M/M, Mind Games, Mirror Universe, Multi, Rape, Violence against minors, extreme violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-30 16:59:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikarinimichitasora/pseuds/BrokenBones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AOS Mirrorverse retelling of the 5 year mission.</p><p>McCoy had managed to get by without drawing the attention if Captain Kirk for the last few years, but now he has gained the others attention, he has to start playing the dangerous games that the rest of the crew thrive on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looking At The Devil

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No Reflection Fanmix](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/29899) by BrokenBones. 



> TOS Story: The Man Trap. Aired 09/08/1966.

Star date: 2260.251

**** A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors  
Book One: No Reflection  
Chapter One: Looking At The Devil

"McCoy, with me."

Leonard didn't even look up from his grisly work long enough to acknowledge the captain's words. He knew better than most what was coming if he did. Had seen enough messy wounds and scarred faces to know you never stared the captain directly in the eyes. To meet James Kirk's eyes is to commit messy, brutal suicide.

Leonard had managed to mercifully stay relatively clean on Kirk's radar so far. A damned good doctor, a useful asset and not ambitious in a way that would interfere with any plans of Kirk's. He guessed it was one of the only reasons he'd lasted as long as some of the more bloodthirsty members of the crew who were much more valuable and much more ferocious.

He had been aboard the ISS Enterprise since she was built, has served within her deceptively clean bowels for almost two years and during that time he'd managed to avoid nearly all personal contact with the Captain save for a few times when he'd treated him. It had become almost a rule between them, that after what transpired at the Academy, with the Narada, with Khan, that they would leave each other be.

This was the first time that Kirk had specifically requested him for an away mission and he wondered what it was about.

"Yes, Captain. I'll just finish up this autopsy then report to the transporter room," he said, ignoring the way his stomach clenched at the thought of using the damn thing. His fear of technology had only become worse since boarding the Enterprise and seeing all the creative ways that a transporter could be used to dismember someone and send various crucial parts of them to far flung parts of the galaxy.

"Immediately McCoy. I'm sure that M'Benga can finish up that for you. It's quite apparent that he died of nightshade poisoning after all," Kirk said dismissively. Leonard pulled his arms out of the man's corpse and stepped back. _No it wasn't immediately apparent but at least now I know how you did it you sneaky sonuvabitch._

"Right away, sir," he said instead, keeping thoughts that would get him the space equivalent of keel hauled to himself as he stripped off his gloves and scrubs, letting M'Benga close up the poor wretch that had pissed off the captain.

"What can I help you with Captain? Am I going to need any specialist equipment?" Leonard asked, keeping his tone light and casual as possible. The captain was looking him up and down. Leonard could feel the eyes on him like phaser fire. He made sure to busy himself with removing his viscera splattered scrubs.

"Just your charming company, Doctor. You're required to take some basic medical readings. I thought you might enjoy the... Scenery," the captain continued and Leonard immediately felt a chill go down his spine. This was against the unspoken rule that he had with the captain, the agreement that they would ignore each other and do their best to come into as little contact as possible. What was Kirk up to?

"I see, sir," he kept his voice carefully neutral. There was a moments silence while Leonard finally got rid of the scrubs and pulled on his medical officer's uniform, wrapping the gold sash around his waist. Kirk's eyes were watching him carefully as he dressed.

Normally Leonard would have tucked a blade into his sash, a beautiful sharp blade that looked mean enough to deter most attackers before he even drew it. It had been Klingon in design, and boy did those fuckers know how to inflict maximum damage with minimal effort. But with the captain watching him, he knew arming himself would make himself seem like a threat. Instead he turned slightly, scooping up his scrubs to send to the laundry and pocketing a scalpel along with it. He couldn't inflict as much damage with it unless he got the first hit in, but he'd gut Kirk like a fish if the other showed any signs of ending his existence, Empire poster boy be damned.

Kirk didn't appear to notice and Leonard hoped it stayed that way. The scalpel hastily stashed away, he turned once more to the captain and offered him the salute before walking a respectful few feet behind him as they made their way to the transporter pad.

"We are heading to Planet M-113 to check on the status of an archeological dig by a Doctor Crater," the captain explained as they walked. Leonard didn't know what to say in response. The captain wasn't usually one for small talk and so it seemed strange that he would be sharing information like that so willingly.

"I see, sir. I trust they have something that the Empire wants if we've been sent there," he suggested. Kirk chuckled and glanced over his shoulder at McCoy.

"Something like that. There's rumours that Crater has been hiding important findings in his reports and we are to discover if he is part of the Revolution. Of course that's where you come in, Doctor. I want you to administer truth serums and do a full psychological analysis on Crater when we arrive," the captain said. Leonard nodded, adjusting the hypo settings for sodium thiopental and loading it carefully. He had far more of the drug in his stock than he'd have liked, with the captain's love of dragging the truth out of prisoners and the fact it could double as a lethal injection if needed. Leonard had administered the drug in both ways more than he'd have liked.

They travelled the rest of the way to the transporter room in silence, the boot clicks on the floor the only sound between the two of them. Two sets of tread falls, sounding not so different against the Enterprise's metal walkways, and yet belonging to two people so different they might have been born in parallel universes.

"Captain, the transporter is ready," Scotty reported from his position at the transporter. The captain nodded and got onto the transporter pad. A young ensign was waiting for them and Leonard tried to place him, trying to remember if he was one of the captain's personal guard or from another faction completely.

"Energise," Kirk ordered and the cool temperature of the Enterprise dematerialised in a flash of white before the arid, dry heat hit McCoy as they arrived on the planet. He felt sweat immediately spring to life on his brow, his mind instantly going back to Georgia, his beautiful home where he'd spent his youth before becoming one of the Empire's dogs.

"I believe you will recognise the doctor's guest, McCoy," Kirk said, stooping and plucking at some dried grass. He began to slowly pull he dried sees from its ends as he spoke. Leonard felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Who on Earth is going to be out here in the middle of space?

"I'm sure it'll be a great surprise Captain," he replied carefully. Kirk smirked broadly and led the way into the little house that had been constructed in the ruins.

It took McCoy a moment for his eyes to adjust to the gloom before he realised what he seeing. A girl, barely 12 years old, sat before him. She had large hazel eyes and thick, dark hair. Her mouth was full and her skin was wind chafed and tanned. She was incredibly thin and dressed in a simple smock that was wispy and barely covered her developing body. Across her collarbones there was a tattoo, a sequence of numbers and letters that designated her psi-scores.

Leonard caught himself before he whispered her name and damned them both, though he knew that he was surely already discovered if Kirk had eyes in his skull.

"I'm here to do a medical examination," he said. Behind him he heard Kirk shift slightly and he tried not to let his shoulders hunch in anticipation for the knife he was expecting between his shoulder blades.

"Are you the Empire's report makers? I'm Joanna," she said, getting to her feet. She didn't give a last name and Leonard was glad that she had the sense not to. She moved with an abstract grace he didn't remember her having.

"McCoy you look like you've seen a ghost. Aren't you going to greet our hostess? Are you Doctor Crater's wife?" Kirk asked. McCoy clenched his fists around the hypo in his hand. Kirk was expecting him to inject her with truth serum but he couldn't. Not without his own secrets coming to the fore almost immediately.

He quickly switched the settings over, using his body to block the captain's line of sight as he did so. He positioned the hypo at Joanna's neck. She looked up at him in fear, licking her lips slightly. He noticed that she had white foam in the corner of her mouth, evidence of dehydration. The vitamin shot he gave her wouldn't help with that, but it wouldn't hurt them both as much as a truth serum would.

"No. I just keep the Doctor company. He bought me from Cerberus almost a year ago," she said softly. Her accent slipped slightly, Georgia colouring her tone like peach syrup for a brief moment before it was hidden again. Leonard could feel his heart in his mouth.

"And what a pretty little thing you are too. I wouldn't have thought Crater's tastes ran quite as young as you... And I'd have thought he'd have kept a ESPer fully collared rather than letting you do what you please," Kirk commented lightly, his tone covered with distaste. McCoy swallowed and tried to busy himself with taking scans as Kirk moved across the room, his manner that of a predator.

"It's usually just me and the Doctor, so there's no point sir, but if you want, I can put the collar on," she said, standing and moving around the room. Kirk made no move to stop her and she attached the collar around her neck, ensuring that her psi-abilities would be locked within her own brain.

"McCoy, any anomalous readings?" Kirk asked. Leonard tried not to start, looking down at his tricorder. The readings were a mess. Not a single one made sense. Dehydrated but also low in salt, a strange mixture of critical organ failures that couldn't be possible if his eyes were to be believed.

"Tricorder's on the blink, Captain," he said, shaking the thing knowing it wouldn't help. Joanna looked at him with large eyes. "Ensign, let me borrow yours."

The Ensign immediately reached for his tricorder and McCoy held his hand out impatiently. At that moment Doctor Crater arrived and McCoy watched him carefully as he entered. No weapons that he could see, but McCoy was more concerned about the other's reaction towards his daughter.

He was glad to see that the other merely put a fatherly hand on her shoulder, clasping it gently before he walked passed her to shake the Captain's hand. Fresh tricorder in hand, Leonard did his job, scanning the doctor while he and the captain talked, before injecting him with the sodium thiopental.

"Joanna, why don't you take Doctor McCoy and Ensign Green for a walk outside, show them the ruins, while I speak to Doctor Crater?" Kirk almost made it sound like a request, though everyone in the room knew otherwise. Leonard allowed himself to be led out. His eyes drinking in the beautiful shape of his daughter. A girl he hadn't seen since her fifth birthday when her psi-scores had come through.

ESPers had few options in the Empire. They became commodities, sold as slaves to the highest bidders, to those to whom the ability to read minds was an invaluable resource. Leonard had scored poorly, as had his ex-wife, but his daughter... She'd scored off the charts. She'd immediately been tattooed and collared, her powers announced for all to see. Leonard had been given a choice, comply with the Empire and let Joanna be sold into slavery, or try to smuggle her beyond the Empire's reaches.

He'd used the last of his family's money to get her out into the Romulan Star Empire, far enough from the Empire's clutches that he could have hope she might find some solace away from the clutches of the Terrans. And yet here she was, sold into slavery after all.

"Doctor McCoy. Could you wait here? I will show the Ensign to some water. He looks dehydrated," Joanna said softly. Leonard nodded, his throat closing slightly as he watched her walk away.

His mind continued back to those years ago. Jocelyn had hated him, had threatened to tell everyone what he'd done. That he'd sold them into poverty to protect a freak of a daughter. It had been the last straw when Leonard had woken up to a knife at his throat and Jocelyn above him, hissing about how she hated his weakness and that she couldn't wait to be rid of him.

Because he'd loved her once, Leonard made her death quick and easy. One moment he was married, the next he as a widower, his wife's lifeblood sprayed across their marital bed like champagne. He had cried as the light left her eyes, but then he'd hardened. Her body was buried in the family plot and no one questioned him as to his motives, especially when it came out that Jocelyn had been a little liberal with her affections over recent months.

Then he'd signed up to Starfleet and served the Terran Empire, blindly following orders and hoping that his secret was safe. That Joanna was safe.

A scream broke his train of thought.

Kirk was by his side in an instant.

"Where is the creature?" Kirk demanded and Leonard stared at him.

"Creature?" He repeated. Kirk gave him an annoyed glance and Leonard realised too late that he'd met the others eyes.

"Yes. Joanna. She's a creature that the doctor discovered here. Stupid idiot thought he could keep the discovery from the Empire. He's been dealt with but we need to capture her now," Kirk ordered. Leonard's mouth opened and closed a few times while he processed the information.

"That can't be-"

"I don't want your opinion, McCoy. It's a shapeshifter. I don't know what she looked like to you, probably someone endearing so you couldn't hurt her, but now you know. She's a dangerous beast and must be brought back onto the Enterprise for study," Kirk ordered. Leonard immediately let his mask fall into place, hiding his emotions from view and putting on his doctors mask.

They followed the sounds of the scream, finding Green's corpse laid out, strange mottled bruises on his skin.

"Looks like our Joanna gives one hell of a lovebite," Kirk commented, scanning about for Joanna as he spoke. Leonard looked down at the Ensign's body and checked for a pulse. Non-existent. Even if this was his Joanna, she'd murdered a member of the crew and through obscure means.

"McCoy, beam back aboard the Enterprise immediately and send down a full security team in your place. This has become a hunting mission, not your area of expertise," Kirk ordered, and Leonard was almost certain that there was a smirk on his face. He tried to ignore the way the captain's eyes flashed knowingly as he flipped open his communicator.

"McCoy to Enterprise. One to beam up."

 McCoy spent the rest of his shift wondering if the Joanna he'd seen really had been a mirage or if he'd condemned his daughter to a relentless chase from the Captain of the Enterprise. He was insufferable to the other members of the medical staff, turning on them and snarling if they got too close into his personal space. At one point M'Benga had moved just a little too close and McCoy had reacted without thinking, drawing the hidden scalpel and slashing the hand that nearly brushed against him.

M'Benga had retreated. The nagging worry and anxiety did not.

"Bridge to Doctor McCoy," Uhura's voice came through the communicator. He stopped the restless pacing of his office to answer the comm.

"The Captain wishes for your attendance in the Menagerie," she said. Leonard could hear Sulu behind her, as usual attempting to get her attention even though it would put him firmly in Spock's bad books.

"I'm heading there now," he confirmed before making sure he was armed. It would do little if they had truly captured Joanna and not the monster Kirk was expecting, but it made him feel better.

The Menagerie was a curious thing. The Emperor himself had one, full of exotic aliens that had been collected by his star ships over the last few years. Beautiful creatures from all over the galaxy trapped in glass cages to be admired and played with as the Emperor saw fit. A pleasure zoo that could cater to any whim of fancy.

Kirk's menagerie was something different entirely. While some creatures were inevitably beautiful, they all had another purpose. They were all dangerous, deadly, able to kill and maim and torture. Some were capable of communication, though Kirk made sure that all psi-creatures were telepathically gagged with the help of a machine he'd acquired and his First Officer. If there was one thing that Kirk hated, it was ESPers.

Leonard entered the menagerie, ignoring the curious, sorrowful sounds that the wretched creatures within made. He headed straight for the Captain, keeping his eyes at the others boots as he saluted.

"Tell me, Doctor McCoy, who is it you see when you look upon her?" The Captain asked. Behind him, Chekov, the Russian wunderkind who was also one of the most dangerous officers on the ship, shifted his hand to his agoniser maliciously. Kirk waved a hand, as if to say it wasn't necessary, but Chekov didn't draw it, letting long fingers caress it in promise instead.

"I see a girl of about twelve years, Captain," Leonard replied. Kirk considered his answer.

"Is she a stranger to you?" He asked. Leonard made a show of looking up, staring into the cage. It truly did look like Joanna. Her clothes were torn and she grasped at them for modesty, hot tears streaming down her dirt coated cheeks. Her hair was in disarray, her shoulders slumped as she cried.

"Daddy! Daddy please!" She cried out to him when he met her eyes. He tried not to flinch noticeably and instead moved his gaze back to Kirk's boots.

"Ah... So she appears as your daughter. I looked up your file, McCoy. Interesting reading. Says you... Conveniently got rid of a wife and daughter some years ago. I wouldn't have thought you had it in you," Kirk said, chuckling a little. He drew his agoniser and Leonard swallowed, wondering if he was going to be allowed to make a case before he was subjected to the terrible device.

"We want to see the creature's true form. Here you go," Kirk said, handing over the agoniser to McCoy. Leonard stared at it for a moment, wondering why it wasn't hurting him before he realised what Kirk wanted him to do.

He turned back to Joanna - no a creature who looked like Joanna - and stepped closer. She was still crying, hazel eyes wide and wet, lip trembling. McCoy remembered holding her in his arms after she'd skinned her knee. She'd had the same expression then. He remembered telling her that she wasn't to cry, that crying was weakness and that she couldn't be weak in front of anyone but him. That people would hurt her in life and she would have to pretend that she felt nothing at all.

He pressed the agoniser against her trembling chest. He glanced back at Kirk, catching the other's eyes for a moment, that piercing blue seeming to see his secrets laid out as though he'd broadcasted them ship wide.

"Daddy, please don't!"

He didn't even look at the creature, activating it while he met Kirk's eyes. You have underestimated me, Kirk. Just because we don't clash heads, doesn't mean I'm not as goddamn ruthless as anyone else on this ship in my own way.

Joanna's screams began but they soon changed, becoming inhuman. Leonard backed away almost immediately when he caught movement in his peripheral vision, breaking eye contact with Kirk long enough to see the strange creature that his daughter had become.

He tried to back out if the tank, but found he couldn't move, his whole body frozen strangely against his will. He struggled for a moment before he felt a hand grasp his arm, tugging him to safety. The force field came to life between him and the creature just in time, sending it reeling back with a screech.

"It feeds on sodium. Sucks it straight out of humans," Kirk's voice was directly in his ear. McCoy could feel the captain's hot breath against the back of his neck as the other spoke. He remained there, frozen, as the captain continued. "It'll be a great addition to the collection, I think. Don't you agree McCoy? And if you miss your daughter, well, I'll turn a blind eye if you come converse with it."

McCoy felt the captain draw away, but he felt more paralysed than when the creature had him in its thrall. He swallowed, trying to clear his throat.

"Yessir," he finally forced out. Kirk chuckled and made his way to the door.

"You have everyone fooled, don't you McCoy? Well, not me. Not anymore. I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on Doctor."

With a smirk like Satan and the sound of the hydraulic door closing after him, Kirk left McCoy to stare at the pitiful form of his daughter, sat huddled on the floor, battered, alone, inhuman and snarling curses at him.

He'd looked the devil in the eyes, now he'd just have to ride the storm that came with it.


	2. Raising Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know how you got away with that McCoy. You sucking the Captain's cock behind the scenes or something?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOS Episode: Charlie X. Extreme violence and gore this chapter, mentions of abuse and unpleasantness.

Star date: 2260.282

**A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors**  
Book One: No Reflection  
Chapter Two: Raising Children

"His powers truly are astounding Captain."

It was not the word that McCoy would have chosen. He'd have picked perhaps terrifying or irresponsible. Perhaps even horrific. He could see Kirk watching him out of he corner of his eyes and he shifted awkwardly in his seat. Ever since the incident a month before on M-113, Kirk had been inviting Leonard to his little dictatorship exercises. It wasn't like Kirk even listened to the advice he was given, just acting on whatever selfish impulse he had. McCoy didn't know why he was there.

"Do you think they can be contained?" Kirk demanded. At that, Spock became quiet. /Of course the hobgoblin can't answer that. None of us can. We've never come across something like this before./

"McCoy, do you think you'd be able to come up with a... Training device in Medbay?" Kirk asked suddenly. Leonard's eyes narrowed. A 'training device'? What in hell did that mean?

"What features would you like, sir? For it to spray him with water whenever he thinks bad thoughts?" McCoy replied. Kirk's eyes narrowed and McCoy snapped his mouth shut.

"Maybe just whenever he is thinking about humping my leg, Doctor?" Chekov piped up. Leonard looked over at him with a small smile. Oh this incident had certainly taken Chekov down a peg, being the current infatuation of the crazed, incredibly powerful adolescent Charlie Evans.

"Surely it's possible to come up with something to control him McCoy," Kirk said, his patience obviously thinning. Leonard looked at him carefully avoiding his eyes.

"If it were possible to ward against thought crime, Captain, wouldn't we all be wearing one?" He replied. There was a heavy silence, before Kirk slowly nodded his head. Whatever punishment he had planned for Leonard speaking out of turn was probably going to wait until later. Even so, McCoy couldn't find it in him to care. He'd been dancing to Kirk's tune for a month, jumping through hoops. If he had to make himself into a player of the politics game in order to gain a bit more space again he was willing to chance a few goes with an agoniser.

"So it'll be old fashioned conditioning then. Do we have any specialists aboard?" Kirk drawled and put his chin in his hands. He looked like a bored academy student, all innocent blue eyes and sun kissed blond hair. If it weren't for the fact that everyone at the table knew better, he might have fooled them. Leonard was almost certain that Kirk used his angelic good looks to disguise the real demon beneath.

"No one with specific training but Doctor McCoy has dabbled in the psychology of enslaved races," Uhura's reported. McCoy made a mental note to personally thank her for volunteering him later with a casual shot of something nasty that would make her eyes bleed.

"I can tell you how to break him if that's what you want Captain. But he's not some pony at the country fair. He could destroy us all if we push the wrong way at the wrong time," Leonard said, trying to frame his argument in a way that the others might agree with him on. He knew it was pointless to even argue about the ethics of what they were doing, or bring his own antislavery feelings to the fore.

"It's a risk we'll take. That boy is too valuable to give up," Kirk replied and Leonard gritted his teeth as the sparkling blue eyes landed on him, pinning him in his seat, unable to do nothing else but agree.

"Well then, first you're going to have to endear yourself to him. He's gonna have to trust you and what you say is true. Let him do some of the fun stuff before you start trying to put the fear of god into him. He's got no reason to be afraid of you as things stand," Leonard advised, feeling a sickness in his gut. The boy hadn't even had the chance to grow a beard yet and here they were, about to destroy him.

"Oh I have some ideas McCoy..."

  
Those ideas turned out to be brutal. McCoy had thought he'd seen the depths of Kirk's depravity. He'd scraped together pieces of crewmen for autopsy, washed the defiled flesh of glassy eyed ensigns who had lost the captain's patience, performed operations without anaesthetic for Kirk's sick amusement. But this...

Charlie had a penchant for the colour red it seemed, and it was encouraged by Kirk's insatiable desire to get the boy under his control. A lieutenant crawled into Sickbay, holding her guts that had crawled out of her stomach and wrapped themselves around her neck. They were still writhing, trying to choke her. McCoy immediately rushed to her side, but he knew it was too late. The stench of her ruptured guts filled his nostrils as he tried to loosen her intestines' grip on her throat.

"Goddamnit!" He cursed as the organs slipped in his grasp. His only option would be to tear them away, causing even more damage than was already done. He grappled for a moment, ignoring her screams of terror and agony, trying to save her life.

In the end it was M'Benga who acted. He darted forward, hypo pressing against a part of her neck that wasn't wrapped in her own organs and injecting her with what must have been a lethal dose of painkiller. She slumped forward onto McCoy, the warmth of her blood and stomach acid soaking into his uniform, painting it purple.

"You tried to save her."

McCoy looked up. Charlie was stood there, angelic features and blond curls. If McCoy wasn't used to the devil himself looking rather similar, he'd have perhaps been more weirded out by the complete antithesis between Charlie's looks and his actions.

"Damn right I did! The girl was a damn good lieutenant!" McCoy replied, standing and trying to ignore the slick, gurgling noises coming from the newly created corpse.

"But I wanted her dead," Charlie said, frowning. "She was laughing at me."

McCoy didn't know how to respond to that. Laughter was punishable by death now? Laughter was rare enough on the Enterprise. Well, apart from the maniacal kind that sometimes overtook the crew when a particularly evil machination came through for them. With Charlie's help it might as we'll be outlawed completely.

"You can't kill someone for laughing at you," McCoy said, trying to draw himself up to his full height, squaring his shoulders. Charlie didn't seem threatened, and really, why would he be? McCoy just hoped that Kirk had got up to the part in his 'rehabilitation' of Charlie that he'd explained why it'd be a bad idea to kill a Chief Medical Officer.

"I don't like you," Charlie announced ands McCoy resisted the urge to shrink. The rest of Medbay had gone silent, watching and waiting. He knew M'Benga was thinking he might be about to become CMO and that some of the others were anticipating their promotions.

"Oh Charlie that's where you- What is that stench?" Kirk swept into the Medbay, stopping at Charlie's side and seeing the heap of guts, blood and viscera that had once been a crew member.

"Oh. That's a bit dramatic don't you think? You should dispose of people in a much cleaner way than that. This one lacks finesse," Kirk commented, prodding the corpse with his boot. He looked at McCoy, taking in his drenched uniform.

"The Doctor here was trying to save her. I don't like him," Charlie said, turning to Kirk. The captain didn't move his gaze away from Leonard, a smirk stretching across his face. It was almost taunting, almost proving that he had the control to order a similar, messy death for McCoy but could also spare him.

"Oh, but I like McCoy. He's the best and the Enterprise has to have the best, just like you. Sure, we don't always see eye to eye, but you can't just kill everyone. Sometimes you have to consider how useful someone is to you," Kirk said, putting an arm around Charlie's shoulders. McCoy felt his gut roil.

"Useful? But I could heal everyone just as good as the doctor can," Charlie argued, his bottom lip protruding. Leonard kept his mouth firmly shut, watching as Kirk looked him up and down.

"Are you going to beg Charlie for your life, McCoy? Because it'd be a good time to start I think," he suggested, his tone indifferent. Leonard's hands clenched at his sides and he looked between the captain's shark like smile and Charlie's menacing grin before he dropped to his knees, landing with a splash in the pool of blood that had formed by his feet.

"I beg you to do what is right and end this stupidity now before your little pet does more damage than you can repair," he said, looking Kirk square in the eye as he did so. He was glad to see the surprise in Kirk's features. The other had obviously expected some spineless response, but McCoy knew that if Kirk had decided he was useless that no amount of begging would stop his demise. He might as well go with dignity.

"See! He's rude! Let me kill him Captain! I bet he's prettier on the inside anyway," Charlie said, eyes lighting up in the light of Leonard's defiance. Kirk however put a staying hand on Charlie's shoulder, taking a step forward and bending down.

The slap was only a surprise because nothing came after it. A sharp crack across his face that made his eyes water and his ears ring but then no follow up punch to the gut, not cold, metal agoniser, no searing pain as Charlie willed his guts up out of his mouth.

"Watch yourself McCoy," Kirk warned, his words hissed between clenched teeth. McCoy had no idea why he wasn't dead. Anyone else would have been, especially as Kirk seemed livid.

"I can't kill him?" Charlie appeared unable to let the point drop. Kirk turned, taking the boy's elbow and leading him away.

"No. Stay out of Medbay Charlie. It's not a place to make a mess like that..." Kirk's voice trailed away as he disappeared though the door. McCoy shakily got to his feet, wondering how he'd survived the encounter.

"I don't know how you got away with that McCoy. You sucking the Captain's cock behind the scenes or something?" M'Benga asked. McCoy scowled at him, shaking off the nauseous, uneasy feeling and stepping away from the corpse so the nurses could begin to scrape it onto a gurney.

"No but trust me, I'd sleep easier if I were. Get back to work," he snapped before darting into his office and locking the door.

Hours later they still couldn't get the smell out of Medbay.


	3. Mentalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary Mitchell and Elizabeth Dehner are dead. Their odd silver eyes have no light in them. Kirk is pulling the blades out of Dehner's back, Scotty's admiring gaze on his back as he does so.
> 
> McCoy, for once, has no mixed feelings about the carnage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOS episode: Where No Man Has Gone Before. Air date: 22-09-1966

Star Date: 2260.326

  
**A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors**   
**Book One: No Reflection**   
**Chapter Three: Mentalism**   


Gary Mitchell and Elizabeth Dehner are dead. Their odd silver eyes have no light in them. Kirk is pulling the blades out of Dehner's back, Scotty's admiring gaze on his back as he does so.

McCoy, for once, has no mixed feelings about the carnage.

 

  
Leonard wasn't expecting company, especially not the kind of company he was presently entertaining. Kirk was leaning against his desk, bourbon clutched in his hand and his eyes intent on the melting ice in his glass.

"You have a nice cabin, Doctor," Kirk said and Leonard wondered what on earth had made the other come here to say meaningless pleasantries. Unless there was no other crewman on the ship with a secret stash of bourbon, which was unlikely, there was no reason for Kirk to be here.

"I decorated it in line with the principles of Feng Shui," Leonard replied acidly. Kirk glared at him before he took another sip of his bourbon.

"You don't value your life, do you?" Kirk asked and McCoy took a seat at his desk, staring down at the golden alcohol in his glass. That wasn't true, he valued his life plenty, but that didn't mean he would keep his mouth shut and toe the line. As long as Joanna remained safe, and he had no reason to believe she wasn't, his own life came secondary.

"I value my skin enough. But not so much that I'd risk it in having the captain in my quarters for longer than necessary. Double the likelihood of assassination when we're alone together after all, sir," McCoy replied, trying to keep his irreverence out of his tone and failing. Kirk finished off the bourbon, helping himself liberally to more.

"You were right about Charlie. We've called in a doctor to euthanise him," Kirk admitted finally, sounding grudging. McCoy felt his eyebrows rise, because an admission like that from Kirk came rarely and usually with an incredible amount of pain attached. Kirk just seemed happy to decimate his No.7 though.

"I could have done that for you, Captain," he said, wondering when he'd started to become excused from the jobs like that. It wouldn't have been his first case of euthanasia, nor would it be his last. Kirk drew a blade, using it idly to stir the ice in his glass.

"Charlie will suspect you. Better to let Dehner do it," Kirk said with a shrug. Leonard frowned slightly, wondering why the name sounded so familiar, then realising why it did. Dehner had been the psychologist who had diagnosed Joanna's psi-powers. She'd been a frigid bitch of a woman, heartless to the core and unfeeling in the face of all pleas. Leonard hated her.

"You look like you swallowed a slug, McCoy," Kirk said and Leonard raised his glass to his lips, taking a swig of whiskey before he responded.

"I just dislike her, Captain. There's something not quite right about her," he said, shrugging slightly. Kirk was still swirling his drink around and McCoy made sure that his hands were near the scalpel he kept strapped under his desk by his keyboard.

"I get the feeling you don't like anybody. A smart move," Kirk replied and McCoy wondered what it was the captain was getting at. All these strange occurrences starting with the M-113 mission, saving him from Charlie and now drinking with him? Was there something that Leonard wasn't picking up on?

There was silence for a moment, then the door opened. McCoy stared at it. It wasn't meant to do that. Not without direct override codes from either himself, the captain or Spock. Which meant that someone had got Spock to give them the overrides for his cabin. Excellent.

The would-be assassins hadn't planned on the captain being there though. McCoy could see them draw up short, looking at each other in confusion. Kirk didn't even look up, continuing the stir his whiskey with his knife.

The moment one took a step over the threshold though, Kirk span into action. His knife was embedded in the man's forehead before McCoy could even blink. He watched as the man slumped, twitching at Kirk's feet.

"Kirk to Security. There appears to be a breach at Doctor McCoy's quarters. I suggest you bring up some men and Booth them immediately. Oh and send up a body bag would you? One of them had to be taken care of," Kirk said, his tone completely even. McCoy just stared at the corpse on his carpet. The other assassins had fled, obviously willing to take their chances on escape more than they were on taking on the captain.

"Well that was an interesting glass of bourbon, McCoy. I'll see you at the start of Alpha-" Kirk said, leaning down to remove his knife from the man's skull. Once he did, the blood began to pour onto McCoy's rug from the wound. Still, he ignored that to press the most important point.

Kirk had known. And Kirk had protected him.

Why?

"Captain... That's the third time you've saved my life in as many months... Why?" McCoy asked. Kirk wiped his knife on his trousers disinterestedly.

"Because you're useful to me, just as I told Charlie. Plus, at the moment your family has a unique position in the Imperial Court. I don't want to lose an ally through her grand child's careless assassination," Kirk replied easily and McCoy almost, almost believed it. He would have were it not for the way that Kirk hesitated before leaving. He sheathed his knife.

"Reset your passcodes and be ready to meet Dehner in eight hours McCoy," he said and then let himself out. Leonard breathed a sigh of relief.

Somehow cleaning up a corpse was more preferable than spending another moment in the captain's company.

  
Dehner was the ice bitch that McCoy remembered, but she also didn't last long in the Enterprise. Kirk had almost immediately got her measure and started to play her like the chess piece that McCoy assumed that Kirk thought they all were.

And she played her part well. She euthanised Charlie without a hitch, handing over his body to McCoy to do experiments on with a snide comment about his daughter. Luckily, Kirk hadn't caught the exchange, but McCoy had taken great pleasure in cutting apart Charlie after he'd spent so long terrorising the ship. McCoy wondered what the kid had done for Kirk's patience to finally wear out.

Kirk had never been a patient man, and when Dehner seemed to spurn his advances, she'd ended up getting the sharp end of a knife to the throat and a quick reminder of her place too. Kirk had broadcast her whimpering moans ship wide as he'd fucked her, and although McCoy wasn't really into that kind of thing, he'd felt his trousers get tight. It had been too long since he'd been with someone.

The captain's impromptu exhibitionism had created somewhat of a chain reaction though. Sulu had tried his hand with Uhura, again. She'd slit him from cock to sternum and left him outside Medbay for Leonard to patch up. Chekov had also dropped by, giving McCoy puppy dog eyes until the other felt sorry enough for him to give him one of the crewmen who wasn't doing much else. At least Chekov was relatively gentle and didn't carve pieces off like Sulu was wont to do.

"Doctor McCoy, the captain wants you," an ensign had said. McCoy looked up from Charlie's brain long enough to nod to show he'd understood before he became engrossed in trying to work out how exactly Charlie's powers were different from other psi-beings in the Empire.

He finally remembered he was meant to be heading to the captain and stripped off his scrubs before making his way to the captain's ready room. He was confused to find it in complete darkness.

"Doctor McCoy. It's me. Gary Mitchell," a hushed whisper came from the corner. McCoy frowned.

"Lights 50%," he ordered. Sure enough, there was Mitchell, stood in the corner, huddled really. His eyes were glowing a strange silver.

"Where's the captain?" He asked, immediately drawing his knife against what could have been an attack. Mitchell just laughed.

"I just needed to make sure you'd come McCoy. I've heard from Dehner that you might... Sympathise with our case," he said softly. McCoy frowned, wondering what Dehner could possibly have to say about him to anyone.

"Don't know what lies Dehner's fed you, but me and her ain't exactly close. Certainly not close enough for me to have sympathy for her," he said calmly. Mitchell's expression twisted for a moment before he wiped it clean. For a moment there, though, McCoy had thought he was going to be attacked.

"She said that you got your daughter to safety before... That you might have a contact we could use to escape... We've got as close to be Neutral Zone as we can, but now we need coordinates..." Mitchell's choice took on a pleading tone. Leonard felt his heart rise to his mouth. He felt sick. Mitchell /knew/ about Joanna, and so did Dehner.

And Dehner! She was an ESPer too! It made her flat refusal to help Joanna even more galling. To have set herself up in that position, where she would be above suspicion and condemn her own kind. Heartless, despicable, disgusting woman.

Kirk and the crew were prejudiced against ESPers because they had been raised to it, because they had never had to deal with the persecution first hand, because they were ordered to. Dehner had done it to save her skin.

And now she was selling him out too save her own pathetic skin.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mitchell. My daughter went to the slave market on Cerberus. If you're looking for someone to help you, you've come to the wrong place," McCoy said. Mitchell stared at him, his eyes flashing bright silver again.

One minute McCoy was stood there, his hand on his blade, the next he couldn't breathe, his every nerve ending shrieking in agony as he was thrown across the room. He vaguely was aware that he hit the wall before his vision blanked out.

  
"Doctor McCoy!"

Leonard opened his eyes and saw dirt. Sand. Why were all the planets he ended up on covered in goddamn sand? He tried to push himself up, but his arms felt weak. He slumped back onto the sand, grimacing as he felt grains slide against his teeth.

"He's over here Captain!"

That was Scotty. He had little to gain by McCoy's death and it wasn't like Leonard could do much at this point anyway even if Scotty did want to kill him. The Scotsman reached him, pulling him roughly to his feet and holding him there until he could balance.

The captain appeared moments later, his face thunderous. He was clutching a set of twin blades that looked like they were made to not just murder, but cause a lot of pain when doing so.

"McCoy, report," he ordered. Leonard saluted, trying not to sway or show weakness. He still couldn't get his bearings, couldn't work out how he'd gone from the ready room to this planet, but he knew he wasn't going to test Kirk's patience this time.

"Sir. I was told that you had summoned me to the ready room. When I arrived the lights were off. Mitchell was waiting for me. He appealed to me to help him, said that Dehner had told him that I'd be stupid enough or soft enough to help them. They're ESPers, sir. When I refused, he... His eyes, sir, they were silver. He zapped me or something. I've just come to here. I have no idea how I got here or why I'm still alive."

Kirk listened carefully as he reported then nodded to Scotty. The other immediately took off, heading over the embankment that Kirk had just come over.

"Mr Chekov had been most worried about you doctor," Kirk said and Leonard frowned. He wasn't sure what he'd done to cause the young Russian to respect him, but he wasn't going to delve too deeply into it with the captain.

"Sir, where are Mitchell and Dehner? And where am I for that matter?" Leonard asked. Kirk looked around at their environment.

"Just some dustball but it's one that Dehner and Mitchell escaped to. After they knocked you out, they kidnapped you. Perhaps they thought you'd help them or they could use you for leverage, the details are unclear to me, but they are somewhere on this planet and I have orders to execute them on sight," Kirk said and he ran his thumb along the edge of one of the blades. It drew a neat line of red along the pad of his thumb.

Leonard didn't even sours to think before he had his hand in his medkit, producing a small handheld dermal regenerator and taking Kirk's hand in his own, healing up the damaged skin.

"You'll be needin' that inside you Captain," he said gruffly, dropping Kirk's hand. The captain was staring at him like he was a trained dog that had performed an extraordinary trick.

"Captain Kirk, you must know its useless to attack us. We can anticipate your every attack."

The voice that McCoy heard seemed to bypass his ears. Kirk seemed to realise that it was telepathic communication as well, as a scowl passed over his features and he raised a hand to his forehead.

"And your thoughts are so /twisted/ Captain!" Mitchell's voice sounded gleeful. "Oh you have some secrets don't you? No wonder you hate my kind. Though you should watch that first officer of yours. He'd be able to learn all this with a simple touch."

McCoy looked around him but he couldn't see them at all. Kirk had gone very still, his eyes closed and his breathing deep and even. McCoy opened his mouth to speak but Kirk's eyes opened at his drawn breath and he was once more at the mercy of those ice blue eyes.

He got the message and snapped his mouth shut.

Mitchell continued to babble and Kirk didn't move. He stayed perfectly still as Mitchell crowed about how easy it was to read humans, about how his powers were going from strength to strength, about how he would return and crush the Empire beneath his heel.

McCoy wasn't wholly unsympathetic to Mitchell's argument, though the other had definitely picked the wrong battle. Dehner could go hang for all he cared though.

It was over in a flash of gold and crimson. McCoy didn't even realise that Mitchell had appeared over the outcrop, but Kirk had. He moved, faster than Leonard would have thought possible for a human, embedding one of the knives in Mitchell's throat before grabbing a handful of blond hair and throwing Dehner to the ground below.

She tried to escape, her hand outstretched towards Leonard, silver eyes pleading with him to help her, to save her.

"I'm sorry. It is the will of the Empire," he said, mirroring her words from years before back at her. Her eyes widened in recognition before Kirk's blades sank in between her shoulder blades.

She let out a gasp, though Leonard knew it was just her lungs failing to inflate after they'd been punctured. Kirk twisted the blades and she gurgled, blood spilling from between her lips.

Gary Mitchell and Elizabeth Dehner were dead. Their odd silver eyes had no light in them. Kirk pulled the blades out of Dehner's back, Scotty's admiring gaze on his back as he did so.

McCoy had no mixed feelings about the carnage.

In fact, he was pretty sure he owed the captain a glass of bourbon.


	4. McCoy Gains Leverage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain James Tiberius Kirk was crying. McCoy was a damned good doctor, the best surgeon in the 'fleet, but there were some things he couldn't deal with and this was one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOS Episode: The Naked Time. Air Date: 29-09-1966

Star Date: 2260.363

**A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors**  
Book One: No Reflection  
Chapter Four: McCoy Gains Leverage

Captain James Tiberius Kirk was crying. McCoy was a damned good doctor, the best surgeon in the 'fleet, but there were some things he couldn't deal with and this was one of them.

It had all started when some idiot crewman hadn't decontaminated properly and now the whole ship was nearly infected. Spock had been reciting terrible Vulcan love poetry to Uhura for the last hour, which while amusing at first, had become less so when Leonard realised that Vulcan love poetry was about as romantic as a utility bill.

Then there was Sulu. Once infected he had begun to believe himself a pirate. He'd been raping and pillaging on and off for three hours and only Carol Marcus' swift blow to his head had stopped him continuing his spree of gathering 'loot'.

Chekov had contracted the disease also, although he was virtually unchanged by it as far as McCoy could tell. The only difference that McCoy could tell was that Chekov was even more likely to use his blades as a form of communication.

But Kirk... Kirk took the biscuit. The removal of the captain's control had given McCoy the shock of his life. Kirk had stormed into Medbay, locked himself and McCoy in the office and burst into tears for no discernible reason. He was a mess of snot and tears, mumbled words like 'Tarsus', 'Sammy' and 'Kelvin' passing through his lips against his will.

"Er... Captain...?" McCoy had awkwardly patted Kirk's arm. Kirk had gripped his hand tightly, gritting his teeth as he tried to force words though the sobs.

"Cure this McCoy or by god I'll have you boothed," he threatened. McCoy swallowed and nodded. He moved to his cupboard and withdrew a blanket from it.

"Come away from the windows sir. I'll draw the blinds. And take this..." McCoy said, wrapping the blanket around Kirk's shoulders before moving to the blinds of his office and shutting them.

"Whatever happens, sir, don't open the door to anyone," McCoy warned before he stepped out. He could hear the sniffling from behind him and made a mental note to look up Kirk's file to see what references he could find to Tarsus or Samuel. Especially if it would give him some kind of advantage over Kirk.

After all, now he knew Kirk did have emotions other than smug arrogance and anger after all.

  
The next few days saw McCoy inoculating the crew. He managed to cure those affected, starting with the captain and then working his way down the crew from most important to least. He finally felt he'd got somewhere when he was doing preventative medicine exclusively, instead of the mix and match of cures and inoculations.

It was after he signed off on his last patient of the day that McCoy noticed the captain out of the corner of his eye. Kirk watched him, eyes narrowed, suspicious. McCoy knew it was suicide to make his way over, but he couldn't have stayed away. There was something magnetic about Kirk's eyes, when they were on you, you couldn't ignore them.

"I have to ensure your silence on my... Condition regarding the disease McCoy," Kirk said, his voice low. McCoy had expected as much. He'd seen the captain weak and, though he had nothing to gain from the others death, it would still be stupid of Kirk to ignore it.

Kirk's hand reached out, cupping his jaw and squeezing. McCoy winced at the feel of fingerprints imprinting on his flesh, his jaw creaking under Kirk's firm grip.

Kirk was staring at his face, turning it from side to side as though planning his blows. For all McCoy knew, that was what the other was doing. Finally Kirk let go, only for his fist to return a moment later.

It was hard. There was nothing held back. McCoy felt his cheek bone shatter from the connecting blow and he immediately tried to duck away from the follow-up blow to his nose. Kirk grabbed him though, planting his knee in his sternum is hard that Leonard could let breathe.

No sooner had it started than it stopped. Leonard collapsed to his knees, clutching his stomach and trying to force air into his screaming lungs.

"Fix the internal damage, leave the bruises. I want everyone to know that there's no way I'm weakened by this," Kirk ordered. McCoy spat blood onto the floor, wiping at his bottom lip.

"Yessir," he said, though in his head all he could think was /fuck you fuck you fuck you/.

"And McCoy?" Kirk said, looking down at McCoy with a wide smirk. "We both have secrets we don't want to get out now. Let's say that this cancels out all future collections of debts."

Kirk sauntered out, whistling with bruised knuckles.


	5. Understanding The Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a moment McCoy wondered why he wasn't being beaten within an inch of his life already, but then he felt it, the sickening wetness of Kirk's tongue running up his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: RAPE

Star Date: 2261.36

  
**A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors**   
**Book One: No Reflection**   
**Chapter Five: Understanding The Captain**   


"Doctor McCoy," Kirk leaned against the doorframe of his office, arms folded. McCoy looked up wondering what on earth he'd done to get the Captain's attention this time. Ever since the incident with the disease back in December, Kirk had returned to pre-M-113 levels of disruption to his schedule. He thought that the captain had got bored making him his plaything, but apparently not. Here they were, in February, the captain stood at his door looking...

Wait.

"What can I do for you sir?" McCoy asked, getting to his feet. It was rare that Kirk looked like that. There was something in his eyes, something that McCoy hadn't seen for a long time aboard the Enterprise. It looked remarkably like /humanity/.

"I was just wondering if... If you'd like to get some lunch? We haven't spoken in a while and I thought that perhaps you..." Kirk stammered through his speech. McCoy scowled and immediately his hands went to his tricorder, scanning over the captain.

All results were puzzlingly normal.

"Kirk, I'm really busy putting together Uhura after that last mission on top of trying to cure this current case of poisoning that's gone round the crew since they laughed at Chekov and-"

"It's Jim," Kirk said and McCoy was glad that he didn't have a drink in hand or he'd have snorted it out of his nose. Kirk stood there, wide innocent eyes and McCoy wondered what kind of game he was playing.

"Jim..." McCoy repeated blankly before shaking his head. "Look, Captain, I'm not sure I follow the joke."

And goddamnit, didn't Kirk look lost at that? He didn't seem to even understand what McCoy was saying. He licked his lips, a strangely vulnerable gesture. McCoy clenched his fists. What on earth was this strange mood that had overtaken the captain?

"Doctor McCoy to the bridge. Captain Kirk wishes to speak with you in his ready room," Spock's clipped voice came through the communicator. McCoy's eyes narrowed, not taking them off the Kirk in front of him.

An imposter?

"On my way, Commander," he replied. The Kirk in front of him looked alarmed in a mild way. Everything about him seemed mild, like a good blow would bring him to his knees, crying for his mother.

"So who are ya, then?" McCoy asked, his hand moving to rest on the knife hilt tucked into his sash. Kirk shook his head.

"I'm James Tiberius Kirk..." He said, though he seemed unsure about the fact now.

"Prove it," McCoy hissed. Kirk - no 'Jim' - drew his eyebrows together as he thought.

"I broke down in tears in your office a few months ago and since then I've been... Conflicted in how to deal with you," he admitted. It was all McCoy needed to know that this was the real captain, although that made absolutely no sense.

"So there's an imposter up on the bridge then. How do you want to deal with him?" McCoy asked, his hand moving from his knife to his hypo, loading it with enough sedatives to bring down an elephant.

"Oh I don't know. Talk to him? See what he wants?" Jim replied and McCoy assumed it was sarcasm because there was no way that those were his orders.

"Very funny, Captain. Your real orders?" He asked. Jim stared at him for a long moment, as though he didn't understand why McCoy was asking him of all people.

"Do what you think's best, obviously McCoy," he said quietly and McCoy paused in what he was doing to look carefully at the captain. Not an intruder, but definitely not himself.

"Captain, I suggest you wait here until the intruder has been dealt with," he said and was surprised when Jim merely agreed with him. No vicious backhand to remind McCoy of his place, no threat of the agoniser or the booth, not even a sneer. Quiet acquiescence.

This couldn't be Captain Kirk. It just couldn't be.

As McCoy left, he locked the door. If it was Kirk, then he needed to protect the other while he was vulnerable. McCoy didn't examine his motives too closely for keeping Kirk safe, but Jim's wide eyed look as he left the room might have had something to do with it.

He made his way to the bridge, ignoring the other crewmen that he passed on the way. He made sure that the hypo was loaded and ready to go before he stepped into the ready room.

Well, this one looked like Kirk too. In fact he looked more like Kirk than the one in McCoy's office did. No hesitancy, no kindness, no humanity, just a shark's smile that didn't meet his eyes and an air of supreme confidence shrouding his every pore.

"Captain," McCoy greeted and he heard the door lock behind him. He raised his head slightly, watching as Kirk rose from the chair he'd been sprawled in and walked towards him, all lithe grace and fluid movements.

There was a moment when McCoy saw his window, but he wasn't as fast as Kirk. The hypo was knocked from his hand, sent flying to a corner of the room with a clatter as Kirk gripped his chin.

"An assassination attempt, McCoy?" Kirk asked, pulling McCoy up onto his tiptoes by his bruising grip. "Oh, and I thought you were my...friend." Kirk said the last word with dripping disdain.

McCoy didn't struggle, standing stock still instead, frozen in the predator blue gaze. Kirk laughed at him, before McCoy felt Kirk's free hand grip his shirt, slamming him into the wall.

His head connected with the hard metal of the ship's wall and he groaned, head rolling forward. Kirk was pinning him though. He could feel the other's hot breath against his face, the other's hand balled in his shirt against his chest. Kirk moved so that his whole body was pressed against McCoy, his superior weight keeping him pinned there.

For a moment McCoy wondered why he wasn't being beaten within an inch of his life already, but then he felt it, the sickening wetness of Kirk's tongue running up his neck.

"No!" The word was ripped from him before he pressed his lips together. Of all the punishments, from the booth to the agoniser, the beatings, the torture sessions, the minutes spent out in space without oxygen or knowing if he was going to be brought back inside, this was the worst punishment. He'd only ever known Kirk to use it against female officers in the past, to rape them until they broke apart, then discard them or sell them to Cerberus for slavery.

Kirk's tongue travelled to his ear, solely curling over the lobe and sucking on it carefully. McCoy shuddered, trying to ignore the sensation that made him want to throw up. He tried to push back on Kirk's shoulders, but Kirk caught his wrists easily, pinning them against the wall with one hand and using the other to undo McCoy's dress pants.

"You wouldn't believe how much I fantasised about this... About watching your lips around my cock, McCoy. Seeing you spread open, waiting for me and gasping my name as I shove my whole fist inside you," Kirk crooned in his ear and McCoy closed his eyes tightly, ignoring the images of himself as the captain's whore and the unwilling reaction of his body.

Kirk didn't waste any time once he'd got McCoy's pants open, gripping his hair and using it to force him around, pressing his face up against the wall as his trousers were pushed down his hips.

There was no describing the agony of Kirk's cock opening him up. The other had used spit in an attempt at lubrication and it as no where near enough. McCoy hadn't let someone fuck him since the academy, and he could feel every bump and ridge of Kirk's cock as the other pressed into him, praising his tightness.

McCoy refused to make a sound though, refused to acknowledge the Captain was doing this to him. Kirk began to pump his hips forward, each thrust sending a fresh wave of agony through McCoy as he tried to claw away, his nails bending and breaking against the wall.

"Fuck, you're bleeding. Looks like I'm murdering you with my cock McCoy," Kirk's voice was malicious humour and deep with desire. McCoy could feel bile rising in his throat.

"Override 1-8-5-Delta-Bravo-Zulu."

McCoy didn't know whether he was grateful to see Spock or not. The Commander took one look at the situation and moved forward. Superior Vulcan strength and speed meant that he pulled Kirk off with ease, nerve pinching him instantly and watching as he slumped to the floor.

"It appears we have an issue Doctor McCoy. Clean yourself up and present yourself to the transporter room," Spock ordered, before he picked up Kirk's prone form, carrying it from the room.

McCoy sank to his knees, staring blankly at the stars as they passed them. A nebula shone, red and orange in the distance, beautiful and untouchable. Blurred.

He raised shaking hands to his eyes, rubbing at the moisture that had gathered there. Now wasn't the time for crying, a weakness he couldn't allow. He retrieved his hypo from the corner of the room, loading it with painkillers and, after a moment's thought, a mood balancer.

With shaking hands he administered the drugs, feeling the wave of calm come over him before the ensuing numbness. His hands stopped shaking, his ass ceased to hurt. It was as though it hadn't happened. Or it would be for the next six hours.

He pulled up his trousers, ignoring the blood on his thighs. He felt a slight twinge of pain as he tightened his sash, but it was easy to ignore. He waited until he was steady in his feet before making his way to the transporter room.

//

"Doctor McCoy! Spock told me what happened! Are you okay?"

Jim was there, worry and guilt welling up in his eyes. McCoy couldn't find a single cell within him that cared in that moment. Behind him, on the transporter pad, was Kirk, still passed out.

"What's the issue here, Commander?" McCoy asked, ignoring Jim who looked like he was going to cry and the disgusting rat Kirk who was drooling on the transporter pad.

"It would appear that there was a transporter failure, Doctor," Spock said. "You have met Captain Kirk twice today, I believe. His true nature, and the one that this universe shaped him into. One without the other results in imbalance. One would not survive in this world, the other incapable of making decisions beyond his basest desires."

McCoy stared at Spock, waiting for him to get to the point. At that moment he didn't care if Kirk had been changed into the Easter Bunny.

"It is my belief we can save the Captain by reversing the transporter malfunction. However this might kill him. I wished for you to be on hand so that it can be said that I did everything I could to preserve the captain's life," Spock explained. McCoy nodded, staring at Kirk with clinical detachment. It was only when Spock moved to operate the transporter that Jim drew his attention.

"Wait! I have something to say!" He protested. Spock looked up, mildly interested. McCoy just wished that Spock would hurry up and end it all so he could lick himself in his office and await the continuance of his punishment that was no doubt going to be doled out when Kirk was in one piece again.

"McCoy... I know that I won't say this when I'm whole again so I have to say it now-" Jim said, blue eyes desperate. Spock was already working the machine, changing the settings. The edges of Jim and Kirk's forms became blurred, white light starting to gather at their edges.

"I'm sorry. I would never have-" Whatever else Jim wanted to say disappeared along with him. Leonard didn't even blink, numb through to his core. Moments later a single James Tiberius Kirk stood on the transporter pad.

There was no humanity there, but neither was the predatory grin. He was Kirk again, the captain that McCoy knew. He saluted dimly aware that it might have been a better idea to run, but unable to feel the fear or panic in his drugged state.

"Mr Spock, leave," Kirk ordered. Spock nodded, saluting and leaving immediately. Kirk stepped off the transporter pad, walking almost passed McCoy, stopping just beside him.

"I would never have used that punishment against you," Kirk said firmly and McCoy turned disinterested eyes towards him. There it was, that flash of Jim there, before it was hidden with darkness. "When I have you in my bed, McCoy, it'll be because you've begged me to crawl into it, your ass so sweet and ready for me that I'll never have to take what I want, you'll give it freely."

"Yessir," McCoy said, his voice even, his eyes returning back to the transporter pad. Kirk gave him an odd look, before obviously noticing the spaced look in his eyes and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Report to Medbay and get M'Benga to look you over, McCoy. That's an order," he said before he left.

McCoy didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the empty transporter pad before he finally moved to obey the captain's orders.

It felt like a lifetime.


	6. Bakkushan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We could be allies, McCoy. Not equals, but something akin to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TOS Episode: 'Mudds Women'.
> 
> Allusions to rape.

Star Date: 2261.71

  
**A solitary cell whose walls are mirrors**   
**Book One: No Reflection**   
**Chapter Six: Bakkushan**   


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, McCoy had always thought. There are some who find James Kirk beautiful, and McCoy would have counted himself amongst them previously, but now all he could see was the disgusting nature of his captain. The marks on his cheeks, scarring from acne perhaps? The way his skin took on a shine to it over the course of the day, a sign of skin that still had the teenage desire to coat itself in grease. The way his eyes were small and squinty. The way his mouth stretched into a smirk, something that never looked good on anyone.

So Kirk had become ugly to him, but these women... They weren't. Beautiful, tall, willowy. Dancer's builds all of them, with the sex appeal to make an Orion slave girl think twice.

Kirk swept forward to greet them, all smiles and calm, suave, charm. He greeted their master, a man named Mudd who looked too stupid to understand what he'd got himself in for. McCoy could tell that the man's cadaver was going to end up in his Medbay before the day was out. He'd be surprised if Kirk didn't do it himself.

Mudd was escorted away by Uhura, who had immediately enchanted him. Uhura gave Spock a smirk that told McCoy all he needed to know about who had been ordered to commit the deed before he turned his attention back to the women.

Kirk had chosen a brunette. She was beautiful, tanned skin and full mouth, deep green eyes that- he couldn't help but notice the similarities between the woman and himself.

He and Kirk had not mentioned the captain's assault of him. McCoy did left want to remind Kirk of the business he'd left unfinished. He knew Kirk wanted him though. He wasn't sure why the other was holding back. Looking at the woman on the transporter pad, how she fluttered her eyelashes and hid her smile behind a hand, McCoy wondered if she knew what was about to happen to her.

Kirk left with her, the other women quickly attaching themselves to members of the crew. Chekov shucked his after seeing that McCoy had also refused the advances of one, walking over to the doctor's side.

"It is not as fun when they are wanting it," Chekov said quietly, then he looked at McCoy. "Is much more fun breaking things."

McCoy didn't give Chekov the pleasure of grimacing. He wasn't sure who knew about what Kirk had done to him, but Chekov's tasteless comments told him that the crew at least suspected.

"It's because you're still a child, Chekov. You don't understand yet that real power comes from people /wanting/ to do things for you, rather than you forcing them-" he snapped his mouth shut, realising he was mirroring Kirk's words to him back in the transporter room all those weeks ago. Chekov regarded him carefully before smirking, having made a decision, and leaving the room.

"Gentlemen, when you've finished with the ladies, I need them in sickbay for their medicals. Don't forget. And for gods sake use protection, you don't know where they've been," McCoy ordered to the surrounding officers. The men voiced their acquiescence and McCoy stalked back to Medbay, hypoing a particularly annoying ensign on the way for failing to salute fast enough.

God, today was a bad day.

//

It was just his luck that the woman before him was /Kirk's woman/. He laid a hand under her chin, tilting her eyes towards the light so that he could look into her eyes and see her pupils dilate. He noticed that she was paler than he was, the bruises against her throat stood out clearly.

"You know, the captain wasn't as brutal as I had expected," she murmured, keeping her eyes on the ceiling. "I've had worse. This medical is a waste of your time doctor."

McCoy pressed his lips together in a firm line and didn't comment. By all rights, Kirk had been more gentle with this one than any of the others he'd had to clean up. No knife wounds, only a few bruises, probably caused by breathplay and Kirk gripping her hips tightly as he'd fucked her.

He tried to ignore the images that came to mind, the reminder of when Kirk's hands had been on him, the feel of the captain stretching him open as he'd-

"We look alike. You could be my brother..." The woman continued. "Has your father ever been off world? Perhaps we are-" McCoy jabbed her in the neck with a hypo causing her to hiss.

"My father had no bastard children," he replied, going back to carefully regenerating the skin on her neck. "And you'd do best to keep your god damn mouth shut unless you want to end up on the slab next to Mudd."

"You should be more grateful McCoy. The way I see it, your ass is safe while the captain takes out his infatuations on me," she replied. McCoy gritted his teeth and didn't look at her.

"Unless he's already-"

"Shut your goddamn mouth," McCoy hissed, grabbing his tricorder and scanning over her. She was veering towards him throwing caution to the wind and giving her a particularly nasty disease. He toyed with the idea for moment before the tricorder started to bleep at him loudly.

He stared at the screen for a moment before a smirk broke across his face.

"You aren't what you appear," he said. The look on her face was calm and measured but it didn't hide the fear in her eyes.

"None of us are, Doctor."

//

McCoy rounded up all the women, lining them up in his office and administering shot after shot of anti-Venus medication. As he went through them Kirk's expression grew darker and darker. He got to the one that Kirk had slept with last on purpose, watching as her perfection diminished and a somewhat plain girl took her place. Her nose slightly too long, her skin blemished, her mouth slightly too small.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kirk asked once McCoy had illustrated his point. McCoy shrugged.

"Venus drugs, Captain. Beauty enhancers," he explained. Particularly good quality versions of the drug too, to have had such profound effects. McCoy stepped away from the girls and stood to one side of Kirk's desk.

"Of course, we can just dose 'em up again if you don't mind the fake kind of beauty," McCoy said, aware that Kirk's jaw was twitching. He felt a weird thrill getting one over on the captain. That Kirk had been tricked, and by something do rudimentary as the Venus drug.

"I prefer my beauty natural, McCoy. Put them all in the brig, except the one that came with me. Booth her. Drug them all back up with the beauty meds. We'll use them still," he said before sweeping out of the office.

The women cried as they were led through the ship but McCoy could only taste sweet success when he saw the shocked expressions of the crewmen. The sweetest taste though had been the humiliated look that had briefly flashed through Kirk's eyes.

//

The women were traded for dilithium crystals and McCoy wondered how long it would take the miners to realise they'd been tricked. Long enough for the Enterprise to be out of orbit and half way across the galaxy he supposed.

He returned to his quarters, pouring himself a glass of bourbon and stretching out on his bed. He had barely closed his eyes for a much-needed nap when his door swished open.

Kirk was there, his eyes dark and predatory. McCoy immediately sat up, feeling vulnerable when the door shut behind the captain and left him physically lower than the captain.

Kirk didn't move into his space though, staying by the door.

"Why did you reveal them? They could have left with us never knowing. What was your play there, McCoy?" He asked and his voice was low, a growl filled with distrust. McCoy felt his skin crawl from the danger he could feel rolling off Kirk in waves.

"Maybe I wanted to see you squirm, sir?" He forced out. Kirk stared at him, assessing and seething.

"You sought to humiliate me," he surmised. McCoy swallowed.

"And it still wasn't as humiliating as what you did to me," he replied. Kirk's jaw was clenched tight.

"I will not be doing that again, McCoy. It was a transporter accident. I meant what I said. When you come to my bed, it'll be of your own volition," he said. McCoy shook his head.

"You say 'when' but you should have worked out by now, Captain, that it's never going to happen. If you're keeping me around in the hopes I'm going to become your whore, you're mistaken," McCoy said and wondered when his mouth was going to stop running itself. Kirk still didn't move though, his cool eyes wandering over McCoy's form on the bed.

"I told you, I keep you around for a multitude of reasons and only one of those is so I can one day fuck you so hard you choke on my dick," Kirk's words were like a promise and McCoy felt a shudder go through him that wasn't only revulsion. He clenched his fists.

"But be warned, McCoy, this game you're playing, you'll lose it. There's only so much I'll take before I decide you're too much of a nuisance to be truly useful to me," he threatened. McCoy nodded, wondering why he was getting a warning instead of just being boothed like everyone else would have been. Was it just because Kirk wanted to fuck him?

"We could be allies, McCoy. Not equals, but something akin to it. But you're going to have you give up your pride first," Kirk's voice was smooth, silken and McCoy didn't believe a word of it.

"Perhaps that spiel worked on the pretty little ensigns you fucked, but that won't work on me. I got to CMO on my goddamn own and I don't need you as an ally, equal, fuck buddy or dom," McCoy spat. Kirk looked amused at his outburst before he raised his eyebrows.

"Then think of it another way then McCoy. If you won't be my ally, do you want me as your enemy?"

With that Kirk left and McCoy reached for his untouched bourbon, downing the lot and staring broodily at the ceiling.


	7. Strong AI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCoy should have saved his breath after the Mudd mission. It was obvious that Kirk had paid no attention to what he'd said.

Star Date:

A solitary cell whose walls are mirrors  
Book One: No Reflection  
Chapter Seven: Strong AI

"Daddy! Daddy please!"

McCoy ignored the creature that was parroting his daughter's voice at him as Kirk surveyed the newest addition to his menagerie. A robot for all intents and purposes, but one so advanced and creative that they couldn't leave it behind. Not when it could be so useful.

"It can recreate people after it kills them. Perfect for high profile assassinations. You can be long gone before people realise that you've killed the real person," Kirk explained. McCoy just stared at the poor creature. It was tall and bald and broad. It looked like something that could easily bring them all down in seconds.

Of course Kirk would want to keep it on the ship...

"I'm glad you caught it, sir," McCoy replied, not sure why he was even required. Not that Kirk seemed to need a reason to include him anymore. Kirk didn't even seem to care if he it was illogical to have him there. He still had McCoy by his side as often as he could.

McCoy should have saved his breath after the Mudd mission. It was obvious that Kirk had paid no attention to what he'd said.

"The salt creature is doing well too, don't you think?" Kirk asked. McCoy glanced at the creature which currently looked like Joanna. Tear streaked cheeks and wild hair aside, he knew that she must look just as Joanna would do now. Although hopefully his little girl would have more clothes.

"Seems so," McCoy replied, trying to keep his voice steady. Kirk smirked.

"I notice you send M'Benga to do its physicals. I'm surprised McCoy. I thought you'd want to see your daughter more often," he said and he moved so that he was well within McCoy's space. The doctor didn't give him the satisfaction of moving away. Instead he turned so he met Kirk's eyes.

"I wonder how she appears to you, Captain. I would have thought that with your own daddy issues you would have found company with her," he snapped. Kirk's hands fisted in his hair instantly, pulling McCoy towards him hard.

"Watch yourself McCoy. A word on my part and you are that thing's dinner," he hissed. McCoy gritted his teeth.

"And yet for whatever reason, despite my mouth, you're keeping me around," he replied. Kirk stared at him for a moment before sneering in disgust and using McCoy's hair to throw him against the wall.

As the captain stormed off and yet again McCoy had no more than light bruising, he had to wonder: just when he he become so important to the running of the Enterprise that it's own captain couldn't think of even boothing him?


	8. Neverland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard froze when he saw Kirk’s eyes move down from his face, over his body before back upwards, fixating on his lips for a moment. Kirk smirked. “Do your fucking job.”

Star date: 2261.146

 

A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors  
Book One: No Reflection  
Chapter Eight: Neverland

 

Leonard did not want to beam down. The Captain’s insistence on it made him want to do it even less. He stood on the transporter pad, adjusting his equipment and hoping that it would all be over quickly.

The Captain gave the order and he barely had time to look around before he felt it, the strong hands grabbing his arm then the sharp pain of teeth biting into the flesh of his shoulder.

A flash of phaser fire and it was all over, even as Leonard was left reeling in pain.

Leonard checked his shoulder, grimacing. The skin was broken but he didn’t have a chunk missing, just a crescent of bloodied teeth marks that stained his shirt purple. The man lay at his feet, dead, but with traces of foam around his mouth that indicated he was in some way rabid.

Leonard ran the dermal regenerator over the wound and gave himself the standard shots against human infections before he knelt down to examine the body.

Kirk crouched next to him.

“What’s the diagnosis Doctor?” he asked, glancing at Leonard’s shoulder once before turning back to the corpse. His phaser was still in his hands, set firmly on ‘kill’ rather than the ‘agoniser’ setting. Leonard ran his tricorder over the man’s body. The readings were like nothing he’d ever seen.

“No idea, sir,” he replied. He turned the tricorder to himself, waiting for it to give the readings. If he’d caught what this man had… Kirk was watching him carefully and Leonard wondered how quick his execution would be if he showed signs of infection.

A rustling in the nearby undergrowth caught Kirk’s attention, however. Leonard ducked out of the way just in time as Kirk began firing. He glanced over his shoulder in time to see their would-be attacker dodging away.

Leonard reacted on instinct, his body moving so that it collided with Kirk’s, sending them both tumbling over onto the ground. He could feel the hard muscle, coiled and quivering with adrenaline, beneath him for a moment before Kirk threw him off with a snarl. Leonard ignored him though, getting to his feet.

The girl came out of the bushes hesitantly, like a startled animal. She had dark hair that was matted and tangled with twigs and dirt smeared across her cheeks. She looked at Leonard for a long time, before dismissing him and turning instead to Kirk.

“I am Miri… Are you grown-ups?”

Leonard turned to scoop up his tricorder, glancing down at it and quickly clearing the screen.

It had read ‘infected’.

* * *

 

Miri had explained the situation as best she could, her eyes filled with fear and adoration the whole time. Her instant infatuation with Kirk was creepy, but Leonard ignored it in favour of trying to glean as much information from her as he could about the disease that had swept through the adult population.

The disease was spreading through his own system quickly, but he couldn’t allow any symptoms to show. He knew that if Kirk found out, he’d be murdered instantly, and he couldn’t find a cure if he was dead.

“McCoy,” Kirk said as he stood. He nodded his head towards a spot a few feet away and McCoy got to his feet, following the Captain. They were still close to Miri, close enough she could probably hear what they were saying if she strained her ears, but McCoy was glad that they weren’t letting her out of their sight. He didn’t trust her.

He didn’t trust anyone who automatically found someone like James Kirk attractive.

“From what she’s said, we’re all infected already just by being down here,” Kirk said. McCoy nodded slowly. He raised his hypospray and tricorder so that Kirk could see it.

“The progression of the disease should be slow enough that I have enough time to develop a cure,” he said, gesturing to the way the tricorder was filtering through hundreds of medical databases to create the exact composition that was needed to combat the illness. “Once it’s ready, we can send the data up to M’Benga and he can use the transporter to send us down the cure.”

Kirk nodded. “How long?” he asked. McCoy bit his lip. Probably more time than he could hide his own symptoms.

“A day?” he estimated. Kirk glanced over his shoulder at Miri.

“Faster than that,” Kirk ordered. McCoy growled under his breath.

“Just what kind of miracle do you expect me to perform, Kirk? I can only go as fast as the goddamn research pops in and even then, not even the Enterprise can vaccinate against diseases it hasn’t discovered yet!” he protested. Kirk grabbed him by the shirt collar, pulling him in so close that McCoy could see the tiny blood vessels in the corners of his eyes and feel the hot breath on his face.

“You’ve got 8 hours, McCoy,” he said. Leonard froze when he saw Kirk’s eyes move down from his face, over his body before back upwards, fixating on his lips for a moment. Kirk smirked. “Do your fucking job.”

Leonard staggered backwards as he was let go. He adjusted the front of his uniform, ignoring the appreciative looks that Kirk was giving him as he returned to Miri. When he looked at her, he could see she was watching him with narrowed, jealous eyes.

The girl was a freak, Leonard decided, and he wished he’d let Jim shoot her.

* * *

 

6 hours and 47 minutes had passed when McCoy got his breakthrough. He sent the data up to M’benga and waited for the man to produce the vaccine that would keep them alive. Kirk had taken to teaching Miri how to shoot in the time they’d been there, using something that looked like a Terran rabbit as practice.

He leaned back against a tree as he watched. He was far enough out of range that he couldn’t hear what was being said, nor did he want to. As long as he knew where Kirk was though, he was happy. He wasn’t eager to have an enemy at his back.

He began to cough and put his hand to his mouth, drawing it away to see blood-specked foam across his palm. He wiped it on his uniform, knowing he was going to have to go through decontamination procedures anyway if he lived to see the Enterprise again. When he looked up again, Kirk had Miri grasped by the neck at arms-length.

Sensing a need to intervene before Kirk killed the girl and their only source of information on the disease, Leonard made his way over.

“-a disgusting little _urchin_ like you?” Kirk was saying. Leonard raised an eyebrow.

“I’m the leader here! Not an urchin! I could have you killed in seconds if you don’t do as I say!” Miri was hissing in response. Leonard folded his arms.

“Captain?” he prompted. Kirk turned his gaze to him briefly, before he threw Miri to the ground. She sprawled there.

“How goes the cure, McCoy?” he asked. Miri was on her feet, cheeks red with anger.

“I see how it is! You want to fuck this… infected! He’s going to die, you know! He’s probably got an hour tops! He’s been coughing up blood all day!” she spat. Leonard felt his whole body go cold as Kirk turned to him, eyes suspicious.

“McCoy?” he prompted. Leonard shrugged.

“The cure is on its way,” he replied. Kirk stepped forward again.

“Not the cure, McCoy. What’s the stage of your infection?” Kirk’s voice was low, the dangerous kind of low that McCoy had only heard before being disciplined. He didn’t take a step backwards though, meeting Kirk’s eyes.

“Critical. My organs will start to shut down or I may go rabid soon,” he conceded. Kirk opened his mouth to say something but then McCoy felt hot everywhere, every nerve ending on fire.

He opened his mouth to try to scream but his jaw muscles were spasming so much he couldn’t even draw breath. He saw Kirk’s startled expression harden into something else before darkness passed over his vision.

He must be dying, he figured, and of all the ways to go, this one felt like the agoniser.

* * *

 

When Leonard awoke he was in the Medbay, strapped to a bed and on an IV. His vision was tinged red. He turned to look to the side and, with great effort, snagged his diagnostics report from the side.

Critical organ failure. Temporary blindness. There had been brain haemorrhaging at one point. As he went down the list he realised that it was more luck than skill that he was alive. At the bottom there was a minor notation: central nervous system in shock from shot from agoniser set to maximum.

“McCoy.”

Leonard looked up. In the red haze of his vision, Kirk looked terrifying. He stalked forward, snatching the PADD from Leonard’s hands and putting it to one side.

“What happened?” Leonard asked, his head hurting and feeling too vulnerable to be laying down with Kirk towering over him. Kirk looked him over, appearing to assess his usefulness.

“Miri attacked you. The cure came. I administered it to all staff and we beamed aboard. M’Benga then saved your life, though I had to put Chekov in the ward to make sure he didn’t pull anything funny,” Kirk explained, his voice low and monotone. Leonard frowned.

“You saved me? Why?” he asked. He knew Kirk wanted a piece of his ass, but there were other crewman. Kirk didn’t answer, however, he just leaned down. Leonard couldn’t escape as Kirk’s hand grasped his jaw.

“You’re not allowed to fucking die until _I_ say so, that’s why McCoy. Are we clear on that?” he asked. Leonard swallowed. Was this Kirk’s way of showing _worry_ for him?

“Yes sir,” he said. Kirk seemed satisfied at that and turned on his heel to walk out. Sure as anything, Chekov appeared a moment later, his cheerful smile seeming strange.

“Doctor McCoy! I am being wery glad that you are recowering!” he chirped. Leonard nodded, knowing that at least with Chekov he wasn’t likely to be killed by anyone else. Chekov sat on the edge of his bed, smiling from ear to ear.

“You missed a wery good show though McCoy! The Captain killed that girl in _such_ interesting ways! And then we got to irradiate the whole planet!” he said, clapping his hands in almost childish delight. “It has been a long time since I got to use that particular weaponry.”

Leonard felt his stomach roil, but he didn’t say anything in response. Kirk had killed the girl, killed the whole planet… Yet had saved him. Repeatedly saved him, made exceptions for him, supported him against others who sought to assassinate him.

Could it be that he’d found James Tiberius Kirk’s weakness? And that weakness was Leonard himself?


	9. In the Style of Doctor Vannacutt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We are more likely to survive with the devil we know."
> 
> (1x10 The Dagger of the Mind).

Star date: 2261.153

A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors  
Book One: No Reflection  
Chapter  Eight :  In The Style of Doctor Vannacutt

Leonard frowned. There was something up with the crew. Since the incident with Miri, Leonard knew that the crew had started to push boundaries they never previously would have. He’d had to dispatch one assassin who thought it would be a good idea to try to weaken the Captain by taking him out already that week, and then there was the way that Spock was eyeing Kirk, as though waiting for him to slip up.

 

They had been orbiting Tantalus for 16 hours, and Leonard couldn’t help but feel curious about why a supply drop is taking as long as it was. He was pretty sure that he was the last to know, because Uhura was looking particularly triumphant and Sulu looked downright pleased. Only Chekov seemed to be in a less than buoyant mood, and Leonard could only conceive that something had happened to Kirk.

 

He managed to catch Chekov when the man came off shift and pressed the information out of him. Chekov was eager to help. His cherub curls bouncing as he nodded enthusiastically, spilling all the details.

 

Kirk had transported down to Tantalus as routine. Once there he had met with a Doctor Van Gelder, who had taken the supplies. It was then that the coup d’etat had started. It seemed that Van Gelder had been part of another faction back in the Emperor’s courts, and that someone there had needed the precocious Kirk out of the way. The rumour was Kirk was still alive, though for how long, Chekov couldn’t guess.

 

“What’s Spock’s orders now? Are we leaving him down there?” Leonard asked. He didn’t know what to think. Kirk being off the vessel is the best thing that could happen in his future, and yet when it came down to it, he could feel it in his gut that it wasn’t right. Kirk was cruel and vindictive and incredibly violent, but he also was intelligent and had a healthy respect for usefulness. There were worse captains to serve under.

 

Leonard had no desire to serve under another captain. Not when he’d just got used to the psychosis of the one he’d got.

 

“Spock seems to be of two minds, sir,” Chekov said, shrugging his shoulders. “I am thinking that he is wanting to leave Kirk there, but he is making sure of certain political realities first.”

 

Leonard nodded slowly. Spock had to be more careful than most in the moves that he made. His half-breed status was enough to make sure his every move was scrutinised. Leonard didn’t envy him at all.

 

“What is Van Gelder doing?” Leonard asked. Chekov’s expression darkened for a moment and he looked away.

 

“He is extracting information,” Chekov said. Leonard waited for him to expand. Chekov folded his arms. “He is using a machine to pillage the Captain’s mind, sir. He is ripping his thoughts and memories out by force.”

 

Leonard shuddered. They had all dealt with physical pain. They were accustomed to it from being children. Even mind games were considered fair game, if you could twist someone’s thoughts it was their fault for being weak of mind. But telepathy, empathy, ESP, anything that messed within someone’s mind? That was wrong. It was against unspoken rules.

 

“Chekov, I’m going to need you to hack something…” Leonard said. Chekov looked at him interestedly and followed, listening to McCoy’s quiet schemes with interest.

 

* * *

“Doctor McCoy, I did not expect to see you waiting for me in here,” Spock said calmly as the door to his quarters shut behind him. Leonard looked up from the scalpel in his hand, making sure the light caught on the sharp steel blade.

 

“I’ve been told you want some help making up your mind on a current dilemma and thought hat as the CMO of the ship, I would offer my advice as a kindly counsellor,” he said, allowing a smile to stretch across his face.

 

He knew he was dead without doubt if Spock actually went for him. The Vulcan was so much stronger than he was. But he was armed with more than his agoniser, and Spock was not. Plus there was the weight of the McCoy name, less powerful than it had been, but still more powerful than Spock’s mixed heritage. Spock would have to be careful.

 

“You had advice on the Captain’s kidnapping?” Spock asked, his tone lightly inquisitive. “I thought you, of all people, Doctor, would not care much about the fate of Captain James Tiberius Kirk.”

 

Leonard smiled again, twirling the scalpel between his fingers easily. Spock’s eyes followed it, watching the play of light over it even as Leonard walked towards him.

 

“You see, that’s where we’re having a lack of communication. I may not like Kirk, but I’m used to him. The way I see it, while he’s in charge, you and me have a decent thing going. No other Captain is going to let you serve as a First Officer, and no other Captain is going to give as much of a rat’s ass about a CMO as Kirk does. We are more likely to survive with the devil we know,” Leonard stated. He brought the scalpel to a stop and Spock’s eyes were transfixed on it a moment more before they rose to his face.

 

“You say this, and yet you have been threatened by the Captain many times. He has made personal attempts to endanger your safety and humiliate you in public,” Spock reminded him. Leonard forced the smile to stick on his face. He knew that, he knew that Kirk was _not_ a good person, was _not_ good to them but the fact of the matter was that there were people who could be _worse_.

 

“Save him or don’t, but let it be known that the McCoys have thrown their lot in with the Kirks. I would suggest that your family does the same. Because if James Kirk lives, and finds out that you abandoned him, he’s going to find each and every one of us, and he’s going to skin us alive,” Leonard said. With that warning he left, feeling all the adrenaline leave him in a rush.

 

He nearly ran back to his quarters, barricading the door just in case Spock decided he didn’t want that kind of insolence on his ship after all and sent someone after him. He then waited.

 

* * *

He was called on duty two hours later with an emergency alert. Once he got to Medbay, he saw why.

 

Kirk had thrown M’Benga aside and was grappling with Chapel, squeezing her throat so hard that her face was turning blue tinged. Other medical officers were hanging back, not sure how to proceed.

 

“We rescued the Captain, McCoy. It’s up to you to make sure that the Captain is fit for duty.”

 

McCoy turned and saw Spock stood there, face impassive. He smirked and stepped into the room.

 

Kirk’s eyes immediately sensed the movement. He let Chapel go and she sagged to her knees, rubbing her throat and coughing.

 

“What’s going on here?” Leonard asked. Kirk opened his mouth a few times before he firmly closed it. Leonard guessed there was no way that they were going to get anywhere with an audience. Kirk had been subjected to torture of the mind, and that kind of thing left you potentially weak. A weakness he would not admit to in front of everyone else.

 

“Everyone, get out,” McCoy ordered. The rank and file all left. Finally Spock turned on his heel, making a point of leaving last to emphasise the fact that he did not _need_ to follow McCoy’s orders, but just at this point he would.

 

“Captain, lay down before you fall over,” Leonard said. Kirk snarled at him, and Leonard wondered if he’d lost the power of speech. It wasn’t unusual for something like that to happen, especially with some of the mind-sifting devices that were available.

 

“I won’t hurt you… God knows I’ve got reason to, but I won’t. A life for a life,” McCoy said, keeping his voice steady and calm. Kirk was watching him with the eyes of a predator, coiled and ready to strike. Leonard made sure to keep his hands where the other could see them. “I told Spock to get you out. Figured it’s better to have you than some asshole like Sulu. So do as I ask and lay the fuck down.”

 

Kirk glanced at the bed and then the fight seemed to leave him all at once. Leonard had never seen Kirk look so tired and humbled. He walked to the bed and laid on it, throwing his arm over his eyes in a move that obscured his vision. McCoy wondered what he’d done to be considered worth trusting that much.

 

“Captain, the only way to get over something like this is rest. Sleep fixes broken minds,” Leonard said, as he walked over to the cabinet to get sedatives. “I’m going to put you out for about 16 hours. Myself and Chekov will watch over you in shifts while you rest. Maybe Spock too if you trust him enough.”

 

Kirk didn’t move or show any sign he’d heard. Leonard walked back with the hypospray, loaded and ready to go. Kirk didn’t flinch when the shot was administered.

 

“Once you’ve rested and processed it, you’ll be yourself again in all your asshole glory,” McCoy tried to joke. Kirk did lower his arm then, and Leonard could see that the eyes that usually held the cold fury of a dying star instead were hollowed out. Deadened.

 

“They took apart my mind, McCoy. Piece by piece, memory by memory. All the bad moments, all the pain, experienced over and over again for their amusement…” Kirk whispered, as though admitting that weakness would damn him forever. Leonard swallowed.

 

He’d forgotten Kirk was human, forgotten that there was a man inside there, behind the shark smirk and the bloodied knuckles.

 

“You survived ‘em once, kid. You can survive ‘em again,” McCoy replied. Kirk looked at him, startled.

 

“I did a terrible thing to you, McCoy. I wish I could have made it right…” Kirk said, his sentence ending in a yawn.

 

“I’m going to assume this is drugs talking, Captain, and suggest you don’t say anythin’ else. I don’t want to hear it. There are some things we just don’t need to talk about,” Leonard said. Kirk had reminded him of that sexual assault, but at the moment when Leonard looked at him, he remembered Jim, guileless and gentle.

 

The man that James Kirk could have been, if he’d been allowed to reach his potential perhaps.

 

“You’re right, McCoy… I just wish…”

 

Leonard didn’t hear what Kirk wished for, because he was asleep.

 

He didn’t know if he felt disappointment.


	10. A Dangerous Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCoy watched Kirk go and wondered why he didn’t feel relieved to see the Captain leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Retelling of 'The Corbomite Maneuver'.

Star date: 2261.190

** A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors **

** Book One: No Reflection **

** Chapter Ten : A Dangerous Game **

Kirk was still beneath his hands as Leonard went through the medical examination. He could feel the tension just beneath Kirk’s skin, the desire to pull away, but both of them knew that this was necessary. Kirk had spent the last month re-establishing control on his ship with tide after vicious tide of punishments.

They didn’t speak of the Van Gelder incident. Kirk didn’t seek him out on purpose any more. It was something that McCoy was grateful for, if not a little curious about. He guessed that Kirk felt it was better to have someone who had seen his weakness as far from him as possible unless McCoy got any ideas.

It was still a little unsettling if only because McCoy had been certain that he’d finally worked out Kirk’s quirks and he was now being presented with a new side the Captain he couldn’t fathom at all.

The notice for red alert sounded and McCoy glanced at Kirk. He knew that the Captain had seen it, but he didn’t move from the examination table.

“You’re right as rain again, Captain. Brain scans all normal. Or as normal as they were before in any case,” McCoy said finally, switching off the tricorder and putting it down. Kirk nodded and sat up.

“Good,” Kirk replied and swung his legs back over the side of the gurney. McCoy took a few steps back, allowing Kirk room to stand. He did so quickly, straightening out his uniform as he did so.

“Are you still experiencing headaches?” McCoy asked, picking up the PADD to add the notes to Kirk’s file. Kirk shook his head.

“Everything’s as it was before,” he replied. McCoy paused from where he was typing his response. Everything wasn’t as it was before. Yes, Kirk was once again feared and respected by his crew. Yes, Kirk’s mind had solidified again from the mess it had been when he’d first come back weeks ago. Yes, the Enterprise was just what she’d been.

But things were different. McCoy could sense it. Something had shifted in Kirk’s perspective, something had made it so that McCoy was no longer prey to be stalked and he wasn’t sure why.

He wondered if it was something that had broken in Kirk’s brain, or perhaps his psyche was different. He disguised his pause by placing the PADD down and pretending he was finished.

He didn’t know why it bothered him so much that he was finally getting the peace to do his job.

“Captain! Commander Spock requests you urgently on the bridge!”

McCoy watched Kirk go and wondered why he didn’t feel relieved to see the Captain leaving.

He decided to follow. He usually didn’t spend much time on the bridge. He didn’t like to have that many people behind his back, but his curiosity wouldn’t be sated if he stayed hiding in Medbay for another month.

“Just blow the goddamn thing out of the sky,” Kirk was ordering, looking at Spock like he was an idiot.

“It may be of use to us, Captain. I would also be unwise to fire on the vessel until we’re sure about what we’re dealing with,” Spock cautioned. McCoy leaned against the wall, eager to have his back to something. Kirk had noticed him though, and he saw the Captain’s mouth thin.

“Are you questioning my orders Commander?” Kirk asked pointedly. Spock’s face didn’t change, but McCoy felt the tension rise on the bridge. Uhura was watching the proceedings interestedly, her dark eyes flitting between Kirk and Spock.

“We need to fire on it now!”

McCoy was surprised to hear Bailey speak up. The man generally didn’t say much when he was on shift, and compared to Chekov, the man was barely useful, but he was still a more skilled navigator than most. Still, he wasn’t important enough that he should have been interrupting what Spock and Kirk were arguing about.

It appeared that Kirk thought that way too because he rounded on Bailey, eyes flashing with anger.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, Bailey? Report to the Booth for insolence to a superior officer,” Kirk growled. Bailey looked surprised, and McCoy thought he must have been an idiot to think that it was going to go any other way.

“I’m calling a department head meeting in 4 hours’ time. Until then, Spock, you can do your scanning and experiments or whatever shit it is that makes you happy. If you can’t tell me what it is by then though, we’re going to destroy the thing.”

* * *

 

McCoy had Bailey delivered to him an hour after he left the bridge. The man was twitching and groaning in phantom pain as the last effects of the Booth wore off. He vomited and sweated and cried, but after half an hour he went still.

It wasn’t the worst case McCoy had seen, but it was still pretty extreme for a simple matter of speaking out of turn. He ran the scanner over Bailey’s body, trying to work out if he could clear the man for duty any time soon. It seemed not. Bailey’s whole nervous system seemed to be on fire.

“Of course I get the lovely Doctor looking after me… Kirk’s little pet,” Bailey slurred when he finally opened his eyes to see Leonard standing over him and adjusting the dials on the biobed. McCoy glanced down at him.

“You’re lucky that you’re getting medical treatment at all. Some Captains would order you to suffer through the aftermath as well,” he pointed out. Bailey sneered.

“So Kirk sent me his lapdog to lick my wounds better, is that it? Well I’ve got plenty of things you can lick, McCoy,” Bailey leered and McCoy scowled down at him. Had the navigator hit his head on something?

“You let every dig at you slide. You’re fucking weak, Doctor. You would rather bend over and let Kirk fuck you than grow a spine,” Bailey continued and Leonard gritted his teeth.

“I don’t have to fuck the Captain in order to be useful aboard this ship,” he replied. Bailey snorted with laughter.

“Useful? I forgot how you medical types think. But you should know, it’s about who’s stronger, McCoy. That’s what will win out in the end. Who’s got the biggest muscles,” he said and he grabbed the front of McCoy’s uniform.

McCoy didn’t even think. Bailey was so beneath him it was laughable that he was even going to try something on him, even if he was feeling like lashing out over his unfair punishment. McCoy had his scalpel on him in milliseconds.

He’d only meant to press it to the skin, to make a point that he wasn’t just useful but also dangerous, but Bailey saw the movement and tugged, sending Leonard off balance. The scalpel sliced deep and long down Bailey’s torso, red welling up instantly from the slice.

McCoy stared as the blood began to pour down his side and then glanced up at Bailey’s face. The other looked shocked, and then his face clouded in pain.

“McCoy! You motherfucker!”

McCoy backed away, scalpel in hand. M’Benga came over, curious as to what the shouting was about and McCoy quickly wiped the shock from his own face.

“M’Benga, you take over here. Seal him up again. Oh and strap him down, he seems to think that us Medbay staff are weaklings to be picked on,” McCoy said. M’Benga’s smile spread across his face in a slow, guiltless way as he walked up to the bed.

“Oh, I’ll make sure he realises his mistake Doctor McCoy. But thanks for starting the work for me.”

* * *

 

McCoy didn’t expect Kirk to seek him out, but there the Captain was, standing outside his quarters. There was still an hour before the meeting where Kirk would make the decision about the strange, unidentified thing that was hovering just within view of the Enterprise.

“I heard that Bailey attacked you in Medbay,” Kirk said. McCoy shrugged.

“It was nothing I couldn’t handle,” he replied. Kirk’s expression shifted from impartiality towards something like amusement. He folded his arms.

“I heard you gutted him like a fish and left him to bleed out. I didn’t think you had it in you McCoy. Threatening Spock, carving up crew members while they’re still alive… Anyone would think you were trying to impress someone,” he said taking a few steps forward and into McCoy’s personal space.

Leonard was surprised how weird it felt for Kirk to be doing this again. In a way, it was more familiar than the estranged and distant Kirk he’d dealt with over the last month. A comforting kind of menace that made his heart thud hard in his chest with a fear he’d come to associate with his time on the Enterprise.

“I don’t need to impress anyone aboard, sir,” he replied, keeping his chin up even as Kirk moved even closer.

“You’re right. You don’t… We’re allies now, McCoy. You and me. And one day, when the Court is mine, I’ll remember a doctor who stood up for himself, but was loyal to me,” Kirk’s voice was quiet, so quiet that McCoy had to strain his own hearing just to make out the distinct words.

So that was Kirk’s play. McCoy couldn’t believe his ambition. He stared for a long moment, fear forgotten as he tried to work out how this upstart captain thought he was going to one day supplant the Emperor himself.

“I’m not a traitor, Kirk,” McCoy hissed. Kirk chuckled, a hand resting on McCoy’s shoulder for a moment.

“We’re all traitors, McCoy, just some of us are more clever about who we betray than others. You’ve proved your loyalty to me. Now you just have to swear it,” Kirk said softly, his voice like poison. Leonard snarled.

“So I stop a coup and carve up some guy you don’t like and suddenly I’m in league in a rebellion? You’re a captain. You have no power to do what you’re promising,” Leonard spat. “And you’re endangering us all if you even talk about it. I want nothing to do with your plan Kirk.”

Kirk smirked and leaned forward. McCoy had to jerk his head backwards to be able to keep Kirk’s face in focus.

“Power isn’t about who has the biggest muscles, McCoy, it’s about who’s clever and who’s useful. You know this, you worked it out. Now use that brain of yours. Would you bet against me?” Kirk asked. Leonard swallowed, trying not to meet Kirk’s eyes.

“Why would you even want to be Emperor anyway? It’s drawing a target on your back and asking people to take pot shots at you three times a day,” McCoy said, desperate to change the subject. Kirk laughed.

“Because I want to change things. Isn’t that obvious?” he asked. McCoy scowled.

“Change what? If there was ever a man who fit into the way things are now, it’s you,” he growled. Kirk raised his eyebrows.

“I thought you knew me McCoy, but perhaps you don’t know me as well as both of us think,” he said. With that he left, leaving McCoy reeling with the knowledge.

He could go to the Emperor with the information now, tell him about Kirk’s plans and hope that the Emperor wouldn’t see him as complicit in them but something stopped him.

Perhaps it was foolish, but he wanted to know what it was that Kirk wanted to change. He had seen Kirk’s potential, the things he could have been…

And maybe a future of that, for all that Leonard was afraid to support it… Maybe a future like that, wouldn’t be so bad?


	11. Neptune's Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood
> 
> Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather
> 
> The multitudinous seas incarnadine,
> 
> Making the green one red.
> 
> (Macbeth, 61-64. William Shakespeare.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this part of the story and a turning point for McCoy. This takes part during the episode ‘The Conscience of the King’.
> 
> I figured seeing as I'd written it all, I'd just complete it tonight.

** Star date: 2261.219 **

**A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors**

**Book One: No Reflection**

**Chapter Eleven : Neptune’s Ocean**

_Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood_

_Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather_

_The multitudinous seas incarnadine,_

_Making the green one red._

_(Macbeth, 61-64. William Shakespeare.)_

“Report,” Kirk barked. McCoy looked up from where he was sat. Kirk had been irritating in more ways than usual recently. Since revealing his plans to McCoy, even just the gist of them, he’d been hanging around Medbay more and more. McCoy had toyed with the idea that perhaps Kirk was worried that he might be betrayed.

Then he remembered that Kirk had been getting up in his personal space for almost a year now already and he hadn’t known the plan then.

As it stood, McCoy was learning a lot about what went on in other parts of the ship just from overhearing Kirk’s conversations through the comm system.

“Captain. You said that if I heard anything on the waves about T4 I was to come straight to you?” Uhura’s voice came through the communicator with a strange urgency.

Up until that point Kirk had been lounging in McCoy’s desk chair, his boots up on the desk as he threw an apple up and down, catching it and throwing it higher and higher, closer to dropping it each time. Now though, he sat up, his face immediately intent.

“You’re sure?” Kirk asked. McCoy found his interest piqued. What was T4? And when had Uhura become close enough to Kirk that she would keep secrets for him?

“Yes sir. He’s definitely on Planet Q,” Uhura said and McCoy wondered _who_ was? Surely Kirk wasn’t tracking the Emperor’s steps? There was no way a coup could be staged at this point. They’d all be killed.

“I’ll be on the bridge as soon as I can. We’re going to divert to Planet Q. Uhura you’re going to be on the landing party with me. Brief Chekov and Spock to our mission parameters, you know what they are,” he said before signing off the communicator. McCoy watched as Kirk began to strap various equipment back on.

Knives, phasers, agonising batons, an old-fashioned pistol. There was a small arsenal of weaponry attached to Kirk’s person by the time he was done and McCoy felt a cold thrill of fear when Kirk met his eyes.

It was like looking in to the eyes of a wild beast on the hunt.

“Jim?”

He didn’t even realise he’d used Kirk’s first name until Kirk blinked slowly. He slinked around the desk and McCoy stayed where he was, frozen to the spot.

“I’m going to hunt something dangerous today, McCoy. Something that might leave me dead. So if you were holding back on me, now would be the time to admit to how much you wanted to fuck me,” Kirk said. There was a twist to his lips that suggested he wasn’t being serious, but McCoy swallowed in any case.

“I’m not fucking you now, kid. You’re going to have to make sure you come back alive if you even want a chance of that ever happening,” he said. Kirk let out a huff of air, almost a laugh, and reached forward, his thumb trailing over McCoy’s lower lip.

“I’m going to execute a man today who I’ve been training to kill since I was a teenager. Kiss me good luck, McCoy,” he ordered. Leonard could sense that there was something dangerous behind the order though. This wasn’t Kirk throwing his weight around, this wasn’t Kirk being his usual domineering self.

This was Kirk saying he didn’t think he was going to come back.

Kirk’s kiss was hardly romantic though. It was full of teeth and tongue and his hand gripped the back of Leonard’s head so he couldn’t pull away. Leonard let him do what he wanted, aware of the feel of the weapons pressed against his hips and abdomen.

Kirk finally pulled away and Leonard reached up to wipe his mouth. Kirk smirked and walked away without a backward glance.

McCoy waited until he was out of sight and then pulled up Kirk’s file on his padd. What had happened when Kirk was a teenager that would coincide with-

“Ah.”

* * *

 

“You cannot let him do this!”

McCoy didn’t know why he was having this fighting match with Spock, but he wasn’t going to let Kirk go down onto that planet and take on Kodos the fucking Executioner. From what Leonard had heard, Kirk didn’t stand a chance and they were just letting him lead them on the path of insanity. Not to mention that Kodos was an advisor to the Emperor and responsible for a lot of the inner workings with supplies in the Empire.

Kodos wouldn’t stop with just killing Kirk and his assassination team. He’d petition the Emperor to have the whole crew murdered. And the ex-governor of Tarsus IV could do that.

“I have no say on the matter, McCoy. If the Captain wishes to better himself with a high-profile assassination, I can merely advise him for or against the move. This particular one appears to have no direct benefit for the Captain, but then, I am not in tune with the Imperial politics that embroils the Kirk family,” Spock replied. McCoy growled under his breath.

“Kodos is a piece of work, but Jim doesn’t need to be the one to do this! He’s going-”

“Spock, go ahead into the shuttle. I want to speak with McCoy.”

Leonard turned to see Kirk stood there. He had desert gear over the top of his uniform, his hood up so his face wasn’t immediately visible. McCoy stalked forward, standing mere feet away.

“This is insane! Nothing is worth taking on Kodos!” McCoy hissed. “You’re going to get us all killed.”

Kirk smiled. “Do you want to know why I’m after Kodos?” he asked. McCoy shifted his weight.

“Some stupid grudge-”

“The man murdered my brother. For no reason. He had nothing to gain from it. Just because he could,” Kirk said. Leonard stared at him. He hadn’t ever heard Kirk express regret over someone’s life ending, and yet here he was,saying that he wanted to take down Kodos over a personal matter.

“He starved us. He humiliated us. He made us fight each other. We were so hungry, some of us started eating the ones who were either dead or too weak to fight back,” Kirk continued, his face twisting into something dark and his upper lip curling. “Then one day he just pulled my brother out and shot him in the face.”

Leonard took in Kirk’s body language, the way he seemed to be vibrating with anger. The way his shoulders squared, his jaw clenched, his fists tightened. Kirk was really going to do this. He was going to go down there and avenge a brother that had been murdered and avenge his own pain at the hands of a madman.

“I’m coming along,” McCoy said finally. Kirk stared at him for a moment.

“The minute you become a liability, Doctor, you will be beamed back aboard. I will not compromise this mission,” Kirk said, stepping into the shuttle. McCoy watched his back for a moment, realising that he’d been watching Kirk’s back more and more recently and in more ways than just figuratively.

* * *

 

McCoy watched as Uhura and Spock took out the guards. Chekov had already taken out the daughter, who was lying in a pool of her own blood at the bottom of the steps. He should have felt disgusted by the killing, but instead all he felt was that these people had got their just desserts.

Kodos’ palace on Planet Q was extravagant and McCoy guessed that most of his wealth came from his time on Tarsus IV, starving the population and creaming the profits of good harvests off the top. Until the harvest failed and he had to move planets. Though not before making sure that the population of the planet wouldn’t survive to make money off the business venture without him.

He couldn’t help but root for Kirk.

He crept up the steps towards Kodos’ office. Kirk was already at the top of the steps and Uhura and Spock were listening to his orders raptly. Chekov appeared from around a corner, smiling and covered in blood. He looked like he’d been rolling in it.

“Someone needs to teach you finesse kid,” McCoy commented. Chekov just smiled back.

“You will wait outside until one of us comes out. If it’s not me, then by all means, shoot the bastard in the face,” Kirk said. Spock and Uhura nodded. Kirk slipped into the room then, leaving them all waiting and hoping that the next patrol wouldn’t come while they were stood there.

Uhura began to pick under her nails with a knife, leaning against the wall as though she didn’t have a care in the world. A bruise was forming across her cheek and blood had dripped down her chin from a split lip.

“Why are you helping out?” McCoy asked, unable to hold back the question. “I can understand Spock and Chekov, even myself, but I never had you pegged for a Kirk fan.”

Uhura looked up at him and smiled, her teeth stained with blood. “I have an interest in getting Kirk what he wants in this case. Kodos is in the way of a particularly good promotion for my father. Not to mention, if there’s anyone who can get this job done, Kirk is the one who could do it.”

McCoy nodded to show he’d accepted the answer, he didn’t think he was the whole truth though. Uhura was strong in her own right, and there were less messy ways to get someone out of the way. Uhura’s family specialised in less direct methods usually. He wondered if there was something else tying her to Kirk.

Minutes passed and they began to feel like hours. Leonard began to pace, getting concerned that they would be found before they had the opportunity to complete their mission and escape.

“The Keptin is taking a long time,” Chekov whispered to him. Leonard nodded and glanced toward the closed door.

“I’m going in,” he announced finally. Uhura glanced up but then continued picking at her nails.

“It is in direct violation of our orders,” Spock reminded him. McCoy shrugged.

“If Kirk’s failed, Kodos might be sat in there waiting for someone to come with back-up. We’ll be sitting ducks,” he reasoned. He almost convinced himself that was the reason he was doing it as well, but he knew deep down that he wasn’t.

Goddamnit, when had he started to worry about Kirk?!

He pushed the door open and the sound of something hitting flesh met his ears. The room was dark, the curtains pulled against the bright sun. A single beam of light got through a gap in the curtains, illuminating the scene before him.

The desk had been overturned, PADDs and trinkets scattered around the room. Blood was spattered liberally over many of the surfaces and McCoy followed the trail over to the bright spot in the centre of the room.

Kirk had straddled Kodos, the larger and more powerful man trapped beneath him. In his hands, Kirk was holding a statue of some renaissance figure. It looked to be made from marble. McCoy watched as Kirk brought it above his head and then brought it down. Over and over and over, until Kodos’ skull caved in.

And still Kirk didn’t stop.

McCoy moved forward. He didn’t know what possessed him to do it but he was crouching beside Jim, trying to ignore the splatter of brain matter and bits of skull on the carpet. He put his hand on Kirk’s wrist as the captain lifted his arm again.

Kirk turned to him, eyes wild and surprised before they seemed to clear. He looked down at Kodos, as though seeing what he’d done for the first time, and then dropped the statue to the side. He wiped his hands on his trousers.

“He’s dead,” Kirk said, as though McCoy wouldn’t have been able to tell that just by looking. McCoy nodded though, rising to his feet and pulling Kirk up with him. The other seemed unsteady on his feet for a moment before he straightened himself up to his full height.

McCoy watched as Kirk walked to the large windows that took up an entire wall of the office and, with a flourish, he pushed the curtains aside. Light flooded the scene, the red standing out like a garish painting against the lavish furnishings of the office.

Kirk turned then, the sun shining from behind him and giving the impression of a halo around his golden hair. McCoy could see the blood staining his sleeves, the front of his shirt, his trousers, but there wasn’t a single injury on Kirk himself. His piercing blue eyes clear, his face stern and serious as McCoy had ever seen it.

“You asked me what I wanted to change. You said I fit into this world better than anyone else. But what I want to change _is_ this world. I want people like Kodos to be gutted alive, and I want people like me to no longer be a necessity. I’m not a good man, but I want there to be an Empire where a good man can make a difference. I want the Empire to be _better_. Join me, McCoy. Let’s take on the Galaxy together,” Kirk said and McCoy could hear the conviction in his voice. And in that moment, he realised that he believed that Kirk could actually do it. That James Tiberius Kirk could take on the whole galaxy and win. That the Emperor would fall and Kirk would be the man who stood over his corpse.

He didn’t think as he dropped to his knees and placed a hand over his heart. It was an old gesture, but the McCoys were old-fashioned. When they pledged their allegiance, it wasn’t fleeting or fanciful. It was sincere, unswerving loyalty. He made sure his eyes met Kirk’s as he clenched his hand into a fist.

“Lead, and I’ll follow,” he replied. Kirk’s smile stretched across his face and he stepped forward, reaching out a hand to help Leonard up. The sun from behind him was almost blinding at that point and McCoy felt it was almost surreal.

He stared at the blood-stained, outstretched hand before reaching to take it. Kirk’s fingers closed around his own like a noose and the deal was struck.

Leonard McCoy and James Kirk were officially allies.

* * *

**A Solitary Cell Whose Walls Are Mirrors**

**Book One: No Reflection**

**Complete**

**To be continued in ‘The Veiled Reflection’**


End file.
